Mad over fifties Club

[ladyalex]

The Club is now Open

Good evening and welcome to everyone.

The usual sumptuous array of snacks and nibbles will doubtless arrive very soon, and I, for one am very much looking forward to sampling this week's tailcock. Several bottles seem to have gone missing from the cellar, so I am expecting great things.

For tonight's raffle, so far I have:

Half a bottle of bath salts (greenish-blue)
Two pairs of American Tan tights
Two nail files

[percypineapple]

Isn't it strange you lot seem only to appear on answerbank when the moon comes out?

[ladyalex]

There's little lol-ing when he and I meet , Super.
Welcome back , Mamya. That was a short visit. Flying indeed. Were broomsticks involved ?

Sunny dave thank you so much for your deposit. Perhaps we could swap it as a raffle prize for the patio tiles ...mmmm...
meanwhile we'll just treat it as a roundabout.
Do have a bucket of Eggscursion...where is that butler ?

[ladyalex]

Hello , DT generous as always, if a little odd.

percypinapple....we are here every week regardless of whether the moon is full, new or gibbous...but nice to see you back anyway

[flump1]

Good evening one and all, I am so pleased to see the club open and filling with friends. For the waffle I have bought a tongue scraper (unused ) an engine mounting block for a Wartburg and some tena pads ( free sample ) . I would like a glass or two of the tailcock.

[sunny-dave]

Is it a games night tonight ?

I'm not sure that Milady has the back flexibility for 'twister', but a round of 'spin the butler' or 'pin the tail on the mellors' might provide some merriment ?

[DTCwordfan]

The Offering:

The Mad Castle April Fools Eve


LieInKing put a whoopie cushion
on Lady A's golden chair.
Mrs O told Lady A
that a Flumpy was in her hair.

Mamya brought an apple
with a Sunny gummy worm
and gave it to Lady A
just to see if she would squirm.

Nungate left a piece of plastic
Llama doo on the Castle floor,
and Alexandered an elongated Rabbit
in Lady A's bedside drawer.

Petal tried the squirty flower
full of soapy, slimy brine
Jumbo, a load of nasal bubbles right through
his wrinkled trunk, the poor old Castle wine

Sloopy nicked the coats from LIK’s closet
and put them in the Moat
The Croc has eaten the gaming table,
now asleep on Lady A’s Humber boat

Skinkykate glued down the toilet seat
Lady A caught fair and square
lcg on the closet floor, drunk as a skunk
Mamya’s crème eggs sticking in her hair.

Gness tried cooking an April Fools Eve pie
Rabbits testicles, nettles, chilli and samphire.
The Castle guests turning their noses up high
“Bloody hell, this one has more than backfired.”

Lady J reshaped the Garden objet d’art
to turn it into an Ed-like plastic gnome
Rosamund hit the fountain, a box of Daz underneath,
the terrace awash, acres of unctuous sudsy foam

PolarBear, an iceberg trick of immense magnitude,
the glacial two ton lump atop the Castle tower
Icy water melting, cascading down,
giving us all a nasty shower

PercyPineapple threw a yellow banana,
And split the Castle kitchen window
SuperSuezy croaked, trilled, and broke more glass
Lady A thought she was a one-stringed banjo

An eve of madness this April’s Eve
Castle guests on the rampage
Practical japes all over the Chateau
For the Lady’s sake, cover the birdcage

Albaqwerty put a goldfish
in Lady A's tailcock glass.
These April Fool's Eve pranks
are ones that you could never surpass.

Before you go and try them, though,
there's something I should you bludgeon:
Lady A wasn’t be fooling
when she put us in the Castle Dungeon.

[ladyalex]

Hello FLump, lovely to see you.

What exactly is a Wartburg....surely not an enormous skin excrescence ?...can't be, why woulod it need an engine ?

Dave, dear, I think Games Night is an excellent suggestion, but I am , as you suggest , unable to particiate in the rougher games...I fear that I might never be able to disentangle myself were I to attempt Twister.
A nice hand of whist, now, I could manage that.
Hearts are trumps.

[ladyalex]

DT, I stand again astonished by your abilities.

Have you considered doing this professionally ?

[DTCwordfan]

I write other things, Lady A for the dreaded revenue......Mad 50s is just for being Mad.....took me 30 mins this pm..

[DTCwordfan]

and less than ten to add in Percy P, suezy etc....

[ladyalex]

I'm well impressed, DT. Well impressed.

[Mamyalynne]

Wonderful ode DT and young Raven is only a wee bit miffed, more drinks everyone??

Off the add the ode to the annals.

[ladyalex]

More drink is always welcome, Mamya.

[flump1]

Dear Lady Alex, a Wartburg is an auto mobile, an ancient relic of primitive engineering that gave a rough ride and once ridden never forgotten. The Eggscursion is simply lush. I must relieve myself.........of this poncho and settle down for a few more tailcocks.

[ladyalex]

I think I'll stick with the horse and trap, Flump.
But thank you for the information....knowledge is power, after all.

[DTCwordfan]

Yeeaaah, thought I had the Miss......booboo there

Add a verse in (number 5):

RavenMiss, naughty thing, she tied a can to our Lady's car
The Chauffeur had a frothing fit
Lady A - "the Rolls exhaust has been Mars Barred
this one's got me in the right t.."

[percypineapple]

I just can't think of anything intelectually silly to say tonight, but i am now getting the gist of it, especially as i was being mentioned in dispatches, so will take some time to think of a possibly incoherent addition for next weeks over 50's. its so nice to see senile dementure at its peak, it means i am not alone, its just the normal people that have a problem..
percy

[ladyalex]

Normal people ? who are these creature of whom you speak, percypin ?

Flump...a bit like a Trabant, then ?

[percypineapple]

its my minders, they think they are normal, but we know different.

[ladyalex]

Oh , the minders...we all have them....ignoring them and trying to lose them work for me...