Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Welcome to tonight's meeting of AB's Mad Over Fifties Club.
I trust everyone has battened down their respective hatches in readiness for the oncoming storm.
Tonight's entertainments will be as always the Minstrels in the gallery (with a candlestick, piece of rope and glitterball) In the ballroom we have engaged a tango ensemble who will play the music of the Argentine tango, and to demonstrate the dance, we have engaged the services of Muckleflugga's top tango duo Roberto McTavish and his partner the lovely Gladys Oglethorpe. We do hope we can send you all on a "trip" down "Argentine Way"
Our tailcock for this evening will be the Autumn Breeze, an interesting yet, potent brew. Also our hot plate special will be a delicious chicken and ham pie, creamy mash and a selection of veggies! On the pudding trolley
we are offering a treacle tart with lashings of cream. In the best MOFC tradition there will be the customary selection of volley vonts, canopies and other nibbles.
For the rofl I offer
An umbrella (broken spoke)
Avon catalogues (used and past order dates)
Queenie's favourite glass - broken, thank you Teddy
a set of matching anti macassars

Be sure to have your tickets ready at the appropriate time
Members can rest assured that if the storm arrives before close of the evening's proceedings, guest suites will be available in the west wing for any travellers unable to get home safely.
Otherwise, we have the hot tub bubbling and all set to go, the mini bar has been refilled. In light of the latest weather forecast the bungee will not be in use tonight (the piranhas in the moat can sleep safely) The games room is at members disposal as is the indoor pool and gymnasium (do try not to disturb Sir Cumference when you are down in the dungeons, he gets a bit grumpy if disturbed too much) Igor will be on hand to assist members with their outer garments and will hand them over to Frank for their concealment. Frank has been demoted from minion to assistant minion and has had his chains confiscated until he breaks his "unfortunate habit" He has also spent some time on the naughty step for his disobedience.
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals


carriages at midnight

[Igor61]

Good evening DT sir, I have a bucket right here retrieves tailcock from behind
aspidistra I take it you are enjoying the golf?

[nungate]

Hi DT, how was Deveaus?

[DTCwordfan]

I presume you lost, tony and daisy, tut. Should have watched the shinty final up here this afternoon....the Kylies versus the Newies - (hockey on steroids)

[tonyav]

Evening DT, hope your having a good time north of the wall.

I do try, Daisy.

[DTCwordfan]

the Lobbie Linguine was very good, a steak ok but cooked well to taste (extremely rare).....very busy and they had the fires going to resemble Dante's Inferno....Nicely stuffed now and maybe one glass of vino to come.

[DTCwordfan]

Indeed I am, tony, the nungate clans being most affable and hoshpitabull.

[nungate]

.... hic ....

[DTCwordfan]

Thank you, Igor, the golf (flog) is surprisingly in touch - particularly the short game much to my amazement and stopped me from racking up Lancashire cricket scores, the irons a little dodgy, the driver well - around both turns crap. However, the back 9 has seen some pars and even a birdie both days when the driver properly connected and went straight on shortish par 5s. There is hope but then the courses will strike back with the wind and sand these next days - haven't been in too much of the latter, apart from strolling the beaches.

[Igor61]

May it continue to fly straight down the middle sir

[Igor61]

Anyone in need of a top up?

[tonyav]

Indeed I am, tony, the nungate clans being most affable and hoshpitabull.


So I hear DT, a good time had by one and all. Great stuff.

[DTCwordfan]

Maybe if it was radio controlled........however, there is something cleansing about thrashing around in a gorse bush, almost rather Opus Dei as to the flagellation one endures.

[tonyav]

I will if you please Igor.
May your balls stay out of the rough, DT !.

[DaisyNonna]

How could I lose DT as my mother was a Geordie?

[DTCwordfan]

Ah yes, the gathering of the McMafia clan; presume that you have seen the ode to that, a starter's whistle kind-a-thing to kick things off.

[DTCwordfan]

Rain, hail, sleet or snaw,
You'll see the Bard oot there hittin' the wee white ba'.

Heathaland, links, nungate fields or heather,
It's no' made easy by the bleedin' Scottish weather.

I hook it left, I slice it right,
But I'll still be oot frae mornin' 'til night.
(why am I sae late to MoFC?)

I cuss te ba' and ask, "Whit's the matter?"
The clubhouse wit shouts, "Play a balata!"

Persimmon woods, laminated tae,
Metal heids are noo the order o' the day.

If we can jist keep up wi' radio technology,
We micht no' be best, but we'll sure look bonnie,
ta ba strait and in tae hole

Obsessed wi' length and expert analysis,
We cannae swing because o' paralysis.
(bae that's the hooch as well).

Tiger, Monty, Seve an' aw,
How dae they easily hit the ba'?
(Because they ain't half paralytic)

Frustration, anger, rage, pleasure an' sorrow,
I'll aw be oot there again tomorrow.

The ex complains, "It's damagin' yur health!"
Does she think I;m oot there enjoyin' murself?

She's afar, I'mma here, North Berwick, land of Nungate
me golf not exactly on a links lined plate.

[DTCwordfan]

Who did you play, daisy, the Newquay Broon Ale crew from across tae border?

[tonyav]

Aye, DT.

[DTCwordfan]

and you lost to them.............. How? Home or Away?

[DaisyNonna]

I played the Witch in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
And you?