Feeling Really Sad

[paulineward]

I know this might not be appropriate...and I understand that people might think it not the right place or time..etc..etc..but you all seem to be my friends, and I am ending my awful day talking to you all in sad circumstances. I have a rapport with a lot of you, and may seem 'away' for a bit...as after loosing my dear brother last year, got woken up this morning (Monday) to a call telling me of sudden death of my 48 year old younger sister. I regard you all as friends, and as everyone has gone home now, and left me alone...I felt I needed to tell you all. Why I don't know, but I feel we are friends, and if I am worst than I normally am..that is why. Hopefully coming on here will keep a little normality to things for me...hope you don't mind...and hope I've not infringed any rules or standards.
Kind regards to everyone...and thanks for being my friends!...Pauline xxxx

[kettledrum]

Pauline. What absolutely awful news for you to be woken with. Quite apart from feeling totally bereft at the unexpected loss of your younger sister at such a young age, the sudden shock of the news must have made it even worse. I really do feel for you in your misery and I'm sure we'll all be thinking of you, as I am at this moment, and praying. Have you got anything to help you sleep? Lots of hugs Kettledrum

[Ont-ice]

Dear Pauline
What a terrible shock for you and so very sad. There really aren't any words to say to you that haven't already been said, I imagine.
If seeking out friendship is infringing rules and standards then whoever set those rules should just forget about them for the time being. You need to know that you are not completely alone although it may feel like it to you at this moment in time.
Believe me, I shall keep you in my thoughts.
Joanna (O-ice)

[paulineward]

kettledrum and Ont-ice..I haven't done all day..but now am crying!! thanks so much for the kind words!..as I thought, you really are friends....and I want to keep posting on here, as it's where I spend my time and feel comfortable.

[issy]

Pauline,
In surfing about, I came upon your message. There are times when we feel totally devoid of hope or feelings - I hope that the following will help.

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am me and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other; that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh, as we always laughed, at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere around the corner.
All is well.

Issy

[paulineward]

Thanks issy..seen that somewhere before...but means more now.

[kettledrum]

I'm glad you're crying. I expect you've felt completely numb all day, and you've had to be brave and keep going for the sake of everyone else. If you can let it all come out in a good cry it will do you good, But you must get some sleep. It will be very tough going until after the funeral and it's important that you look after yourself.

[seekeerz]

Oh Pauline, my heart goes out to you and no, you're not infringing any rules, well not in my book - you're asking for support and that's what we're here to give, in whatever form.

To lose two dear family members in such a short time must be a great shock to you and the need to know that friends are near at hand to talk to is understandable and very necessary for you, and we are here for just that.

Very little anyone can say at this time can make the pain of loss vanish, I guess you're probably feeling numb just now. I know that's what I felt when my mother died suddenly and nothing felt real for quite some time, but we'll be here with love anytime you need us - Love, Steff xxxxx

[paulineward]

It's hard kettledrum, as 2 of my 3 daughters are Special Needs...and I have to think of ways of explaining it to them differently! But thanks so much for your concern. I really appreciate it. Unfortunately my Dad died just before my brother...and my mother has Alzeimhers....so I have so many to care for....as I say..you lot keep me sane! Just hope I'm not overstepping the mark!

[paulineward]

Sorry steff. Was still typing when you posted. Thanks so much for your kind words..and thanks for your understanding. Sorry for your loss also. kind regards pauline xxx

[seekeerz]

Please don't apologise, But I do agree with kettledrum, you've had a long and very fraught day, - time for bed and for you to take care of you - most important, you've got so much to cope with and so many to be strong for - and as I said, we're always here Steff xxxx

[kettledrum]

Dear Pauline - Life can be terribly cruel can't it? As you say, you have so many people dependent on you, and it must be heartbreaking that your much loved sister has been taken away so suddenly and unexpectedly. It must feel as if you've really got too much to bear at this time. I would love to think that you had someone who could offer you some practical support and physical comfort, but if you feel chatting to your friends on AB in your distress is helpful we're all here to listen. Will be thinking of you throughout the coming days. xx

[paulineward]

Thanks Steff..yes I'm off to bed now...don't know about sleeping though...thanks for support though...really appreciated..as being on this web site is..know it seems daft...but after it all, still wanted to come on here...sad maybe, but still felt at home with you all!!

[slaney]

Dear Pauline I hope you won't mind me adding my sympathies -- have only been on AB a short while , but the essence of what people are comes through, and I feel I know you a little.
As others have said , I hope you look after yourself and that you managed to get a little sleep.
Will be thinking of you today.
Been said before but ... grief is the price we pay for love.

S.

[jan1956]

Pauline just read your note would like to add my condolenses, there is little I can add to what has already been said, but do keep your chin up, one day, or even an hour at a time is the only way to go. Hope at some point you will be able to just remember some happy time with your family and give a smile.
Thinking of you
jan

[patf49]

Dear Pauline, my thoughts and prayers are with you , hope you got some sleep and as all the other of your friends have said , as that is what we all are, you can talk to us any time. big hug to you . Pat

[JoolsTwo]

Pauline I have just read your post this morning. I am so sorry to hear your sad news. There is nothing I can say that will heal your heart I know. But my thoughts will be with you and if coming on here to chat or whatever, helps then I certainly don't mind and neither do all the others that have responded so far I can see. I am sure that a lot of the others will feel the same when they come on here and read your post. Love and hugs Jools xx

[Dee Sa]

Dear Pauline
My heart goes out to you, everyone who has read your posting feels for you.You will find the strength to get through this, and we are all here for you.
I am not very religious at all but do go sometimes to the spiritualist church where they have a book you can write anyones name in and they pray for you, I have a dear friend in Oz that is very ill and I wont be able to get over there in time, my husband has lost his sight through diabetes and everytime I go to this litle church I write their names down, so I would like to add "Pauline", if thats okay with you ?
Is there anything else any of us can do to help ?

[Aquagility]

I am standing on the sea shore,
A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her
Till at last she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says:
"She is gone."

Gone! Where?
Gone from my sight, that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me,
not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"She is gone",
There are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout:
"There she comes"
- and that is dying.

[pquinlan]

Dear Pauline,
My heart goes out to you for the position in which you find yourself at this time. You are in my thoughts.
Take care of yourself,
PQ

[hardy49]

Of course you are not doing anything wrong.I think it is a wonderful thing that we are able to contact others through this website.At a time like this you need support and I hope that,in some small way,we can help you.