Feeling Really Sad

[paulineward]

I know this might not be appropriate...and I understand that people might think it not the right place or time..etc..etc..but you all seem to be my friends, and I am ending my awful day talking to you all in sad circumstances. I have a rapport with a lot of you, and may seem 'away' for a bit...as after loosing my dear brother last year, got woken up this morning (Monday) to a call telling me of sudden death of my 48 year old younger sister. I regard you all as friends, and as everyone has gone home now, and left me alone...I felt I needed to tell you all. Why I don't know, but I feel we are friends, and if I am worst than I normally am..that is why. Hopefully coming on here will keep a little normality to things for me...hope you don't mind...and hope I've not infringed any rules or standards.
Kind regards to everyone...and thanks for being my friends!...Pauline xxxx

[TeeGee]

Hello paulineward

I found the following poem most helpful

Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning�s hush, I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die.

Anon.

Just remember, they're still alive in your heart and memories.

[earthakitten]

Dear Pauline ... Have just come on to find your terrible news. I can only imagine the pain that you must be feeling right now and I can't think of anything new to add. Have read each post and some of the words have reduced me to tears. I hope you can take some solace from the poems and heartfelt words that are sent to you at this time. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care Pauline.
Lynn xxxx

[paulineward]

Just can't believe the kindness from all of you. It has meant so much. Simple but heartfelt words to inspirational verses, and they have all moved me. Thanks so much yet again, and hope I haven't upset anyone too much.

[MacSmith]

Hi Pauline
Sorry not to have posted before, but I am not a late hour person. I feel your grief - I lost my mum a couple of years ago, and even though she was 91(!) and her demise was inevitable, it was still a shock, and I, a man in his sixties, cried. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a younger sister. At least we are all here, and if we can offer any comfort at all simply bey our presence, then gladly we will.

bless

David

[patchett]

Dear Pauline I can hardly see the letters but I must add my codolences.I too feel you are all friends on this site.So sorry you are having such a terrible time.May God be with you and comfort you,and I am sure that all the earlier messages will bring you some comfort.Thinking of you
patchett.

[sally259]

paulineward
sorry to hear your sad news. i will be thinking of you.
sally

[granny helen]

Pauline I have just read your sad news, I don't know what to say to you, just remember the happy memories and I know everyone who reads your message will be thinking about you as I am, take care lass. gh.xxx

[evsajo]

Dear Pauline so sorry to read your sad news .I know how you must be feeling because 12 weeks ago my darling husband died,just a few weeks after his 60th birthday and even though we knew he wouldn't recover I still can't believe he has gone. I use answer bank and the computer much more now as i have to try to keep occupied and how lovely it is to see how many people have sent you loving thoughts because they help each other with quizzes etc. It shows there still are some nice people in the world.I will end now and send you my love and a copy of the verse which was read at Geoff's funeral. It was beautiful as long as it lasted, The journey of my life. I have no regrets whatsoever save the pain I leave behind. Those dear hearts who love and care,and the strings pulling at the heart and soul. The strong arms that held me up when my own strength let me down. At every turning of my life I came across good friends,friends who stood by me even when the time raced me by. Farewell,farewell my friends,I smile and bid you goodbye. No,shed no tears for i need them not, all I need is your smile. If you feel sad do think of me for thats what i'll like. When you live in the hearts of those you love remember then you never die. (by Rabindranath Tagore) God bless Evsajo

[moppy]

Dear Pauline
Everyone has said all the things i feel as well, is there anything i or i'm sure anyone else can do to help, i live in Brighton and if this is near to you i am only too willing to help if i can
Regards Madeline

[paulineward]

I know I have posted thanks, but they hardly seem enough for all the messages and beautiful verses. I am also so sorry for all who have suffered losses, unfortunately it's a pain we are all sure to go through at some time - still hurts badly though doesn't it? It really helps to receive support, especially from 'invisible' friends! I agree there are so many kind people about, as this site and these responses have shown. I really hold you all in high regard....love Pauline xxx

P.S. thanks Madeline..but I am a Northern Lass...Not far from Manchester

[sarumite]

My dearest Pauline, I am so so sorry to hear of the dreadful loss of your younger sister. I have only just this moment seen your post as I have been at the hospital today for routine check up of mother's pacemaker.
Of the many friends that I have on answerbank, I have always regarded you as perhaps my closest 'soulmate' particularly as we willingly share similar responsibilities in caring for our loved ones. It is always evident from the content of your postings that you are such a very considerate person, yet always ready to join in with the light hearted banter that brightens the moment.
I just wish that there was something I could say or do to help you at this moment .... perhaps these few lines are suitable.

Light a candle, it'll help to remind you
Of your time together on earth,
and as the flame flickers, remember
Her kindness, her goodness, her worth.
So, glow little candle, that briefly,
You'll know that her memory can't die,
As you see her sweet face in the glowing,
Shed a tear, say a prayer, then goodbye.

You are in my thoughts ... Be strong, lol (S)

[paulineward]

Thanks S...it was a shock, seem to be okay one minute, and then kind words (as you will have read)...and yours set me off again! I am so very grateful though...and likewise there are people on here, including yourself, who I regard as soulmates and good friends also.

As I spend so much time on here I felt a need to share it with you all. I have been overwhelmed with the postings.

Wondered if it was right to do that at first..but the wonderful people on here just restore my faith in Human Nature.
Lots of love pauline xx

P.S. Hope your mother is well and that her check up went okay.

[sarumite]

.......... Pauline, of the many caring people on this site you are 'top of the league' with so many loved ones reliant on your strength of character. Even at this time of your great sadness, you continue to show concern for others. Yes my mother has passed another MOT (but nearly 91 now and no mobility).
God Bless

[Dinkypuzzled]

Pauline, I'm so sorry to hear of your sad news. As you can see by the tremendous response, you were right to share your grief with us. Please feel free to contact dinkyfour @aol.com any time you feel like a chat.
Regards, Dinky.

[crofter]

At the close of the day, a minor observation - but nonetheless meaningful. Note just how many of us have shed his or her AB personna. The electronic tags of O-ice, seekerz, cheaton, crofter ... have adopted the human faces of joanne, steff, clare ,dave ... so that we can stand shoulder to shoulder in support of one in our midst who is wounded.

The cloak of anonymity has been abandoned as each bares their soul and reaches out to give comfort.

[paulineward]

Crofter...or rather Dave...you put things so elegantly..wish I had your way with words. Was thinking along those lines earlier on today. You have all become less mysterious, and your friendships more meaningful. I really have been comforted, and sincerely appreciate and value all of you.
I am blessed with lots of good friends and a wonderful husband, but the friends I can't see on here are so important and special to me.
Indeed all 'names' have now become people I can identify with.