Feeling Really Sad

[paulineward]

I know this might not be appropriate...and I understand that people might think it not the right place or time..etc..etc..but you all seem to be my friends, and I am ending my awful day talking to you all in sad circumstances. I have a rapport with a lot of you, and may seem 'away' for a bit...as after loosing my dear brother last year, got woken up this morning (Monday) to a call telling me of sudden death of my 48 year old younger sister. I regard you all as friends, and as everyone has gone home now, and left me alone...I felt I needed to tell you all. Why I don't know, but I feel we are friends, and if I am worst than I normally am..that is why. Hopefully coming on here will keep a little normality to things for me...hope you don't mind...and hope I've not infringed any rules or standards.
Kind regards to everyone...and thanks for being my friends!...Pauline xxxx

[Ont-ice]

It's four o'clock in the morning ( once again) in the UK. I don't know how long this link will run so I'm telling you now that even though I may not write it down again, at 11:pm, Canadian time, every night I will think of you and trust that your sleep will refresh your body and your mind, and that you will awaken with new strength to help you face the day.
Good Night, Pauline.

[paulineward]

It's ironic Ont-ice that I was thinking of you at 9am this morning about 4am your time? When you would be sleeping.
This thread will have to close, inevitably, and I know and appreciate that people like your goodselves are thinking about me. It really is appreciated so much.
The funeral is on Tuesday, and then we all have to carry on, not forget, and still grieve, but we have no choice.
Hopefully I will feel up to exercising the brain again soon, and join you all back on the main threads, but will just take it day by day for now and see how I feel.
Will pop on now and then to see what you are all up to. In the meantime..fondest regards to you all. Special friends indeed.
Love Pauline xxxx

[paulineward]

Can I also say..that I really do appreciate the fact that people have returned to this thread to see how I am doing and send their continuing messages of love and support. You are all wonderful.
All take care
Pauline xx

[teacher1]

Hi Pauline,
I have not been on-line for a while and have just been informed by ont-ice about your loss. Please accept my deepest sympathies - I never know what to say in situations like this, but I will be thinking about you and your family.
John.

[sarumite]

Pauline, one of the main reasons that your friends keep returning to this site owes much to the high esteem in which you are held. Your good natured comments to many others in the past has shown what a very caring person you really are.
We now want to show you that we also care about you ..... especially in your time of need.
(S) xxxx

[paulineward]

Thanks teacher1. for taking the time to read and post. It is really appreciated.

Sarumite...your kind words over the last couple of days have really moved me, please know that you are held in the same esteem by me. I admire your intelligence, wit and dedication to your caring role. I too feel we have become good friends and I enjoy our exchanges on here. Take great care, you are a good friend....who I have never met, but still am very fond of.
Love Pauline xxx

[crofter]

Every day, there are continual prompts which bring to the fore recent events and my thoughts reach out - and I wonder how you are doing, Pauline. Yesterday, the reminder came as I was driving home and the radio began playing Sting's "Message in a Bottle". The lyrics describe perfectly the raw emotions that have been felt by many over such a short period of time.

Your message was sent via AB and like the lyrics of the song, the response has been overwhelming. The universal message from all corners of the globe is that "you're not really alone".

You will also have these unguarded moments when reality invades your consciousness. Try to pair off each feeling of utter sadness with one fond memory that brings a gentile smile. I know there will be many such memories to choose from - otherwise your feeling of loss would not be as intense.

Treasure the happy memories - they are as precious jewels that no-one can take from you.

[kettledrum]

As I write this I realise that it's now 4 whole days since you first heard your terrible news. I have been thinking of you lots and wondering how you and your girls are coping. I do so hope that you are managing to look after yourself and have been able to have a decent night's sleep.
Please continue to look after yourself as you're going to need to be strong for the funeral on Tuesday. Meanwhile my thoughts and prayers remain with you, dear Pauline.
Christine

[Ont-ice]

Good night Pauline.

[Christiana]

Night Night Pauline. The thoughts and prayers of your wider family are still with you!

[paulineward]

Thanks so much...not had a good day today. Still tomorrow's another day.
Am sure this will get easier, as a lot a you have said.
Goodnight all.

[sarumite]

Goodnight Pauline, I hope you are able to get some rest (S).

[Ont-ice]

Good night Pauline.

[seekeerz]

Dear Pauline
Morning isn't too far away for you, my dear and I hope you've managed to relax and sleep through the night - inspite of the time difference you stay in my thoughts, I wonder how everything is with you and pray that soon it will become easier.

Perhaps after the funeral life will become a little easier - that period between always seems so raw and that everything is in limbo, regardless you have my thought and prayers, I hope they can give you a little comfort and strength - Steff xxx

[JoolsTwo]

I hope you are coping Pauline - I think about you a lot and I hope the support you are getting on AB will help sustain you through this terrible time. Jools xx

[patrixcia]

dear Pauline so sorry to hear your bad news. thinking about you at this sad time. God bless you

[Ont-ice]

Good night Pauline.

[Dustybun]

Dear Pauline
I know that tomorrow is going to be a very difficult day for you but I just want to say that I, along with all your friends on this site, will be thinking prayerfully of you all through the day and willing you through it. God be with you.
Dee xxx

[paulineward]

Thanks so much Dee. Everyone has been so kind. You really are a lovely bunch of people...who have become friends.
Love Pauline xxx

[Ont-ice]

Dear Pauline:
With the time difference I didn�t want to leave this until later in the day.
I know that tomorrow will be a very difficult day for you and your family.
But please know:

Every thought winging your way tells you that you are not alone.
Every hug from friends and family tells you that you are much loved.
Every teardrop that falls tells you that your pain is shared.

We recall, Pauline, that you were the very first person to reach out to us when we joined the Abers. You signed on late in the evening and you reached out with kind thoughts and genuine caring as to how we were getting along. It seems tragic that our reaching out to you should be at such a sad time in your life. You are in our thoughts every day, and every night we wish you goodnight via the very site that brought us together.

Later, when you feel stronger and in a quiet moment read again the beautiful Henry Van Dyke poem that Aquagility sent to you. I�m sure that you will see that along with the sorrow of parting there is the joy of greeting which shines through in the last written lines.

We will be with you in spirit tomorrow.
Joanna