Would You Accept His From Your Long Term Partner

[MDWCT2018]

I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and we have been living together for 8 months now .In the early stages he was in awe of me but he has since, become more comfortable with me.
He lives with me in my flat. we have a next door neighbour who is a single mother with a young boy. The mother is a little bit nuts as one would expect being on her own with her child, but she does 'strange' things too such as walking in the hallway to throw her rubbish in sexy slips etc. Hmmmm......
Her child is very sweet and cute, but makes a lot of noise and I mean A-LOT of noise. If he is not screaming and throwing things and whining, it is his mother.
I have complained many times about this to the landlord because these are tiny city flats with thin walls, not exactly the ideal place to raise a child. The mother doesn't work and they never seem to leave their flat. My boyfriend agrees the woman is crazy but thinks I am a b***h for complaining about the child. Believe me, it not something I have done lightly but at 3 am it is like a banshee wailing and is scary. My best friend has said that for whatever reason my boyfriend has taken this Childs side (even though obviously my fight is not with the child) and that I deserve more loyalty from him. My friend has basically said that my boyfriend has chosen this child over me .... do you see it that way?

[Calicogirl]

I think the 'problem' is just a symptom of the real problem which is she's jealous of her partner if his focus isn't 100% on her all the time in an overwhelmingly positive way.
I don't think the woman or the noise issue are it at all, I think it's a control issue in thinking her man ought to agree with her all the time about everything and demonstrate that in a massively over dramatic way.

[chelle7272]

I didn't judge you. i commented on how you came across. The only one I've seen being nasty about poeple on here is you!

You didn't answer any of my questions either lol but I've nothing to hide
I had no where to go, abusive relationship, child settled in school, court cases and divorce to deal with, finances to sort out, work to do, not enough for deposit elsewhere.

So I;ll ask agin, why do you not condsider that it may not be her choice, she may not be happy either, but do assume she is beneath you as she is a single mum and presume to know her situation?

[MDWCT2018]

chelle7272 re lease it is simple. I think people like you just dont want to admit it.
re square mile and assistance . even I couldnt afford it if my company was not subsiding it. it is an expensive place to live and anyone living here has option.
I understand you and some others may want to take her side but she is not a victim. She is here put of her own choice.

[chelle7272]

Agreed calicogirl

[chelle7272]

'people like you' - not judgemental at all then! You have absolutely no idea about real life do you.

Oh dear. Don't bother us next week asking why he has left you.....

[spathiphyllum]

futile and tedious

#snipefest

[chelle7272]

// She is here put of her own choice// Not that you know that but..

So are you, if you don't like it, move.

[Calicogirl]

No more snipey than many of your comments have been Spath on other threads. We are all, are we not, entitled to our own opinions and MD asked a question so I presume she wanted it answering.

[MDWCT2018]

chelle7272 I understand that is your situation but that is not her situation and that is not what my post was about. I think it needs to be said that maybe because you are single mothers you get defensive about anyone saying anything about single mothers, even though they all have their own individual cases. The fact is any one that can live in a £2000 rent per month flat plus pay extra for food utilities social etc has choices. Dont put her in the same box as yourself. Plus, when she was made aware of the situation she did not even say oh I am sorry but its been difficult or anything like that she couldnt care less

[spathiphyllum]

"Record the noise and send it to him and the environmental office to make their own minds up. "

Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Do that.

[spathiphyllum]

child kicks back of seat on a long haul flight consistently, is it OK to complain?

Someones talking on the phone in the cinema. Ok to complain?

Live and let live only applies when you're being allowed to live. If noise is ruining quality of life that whole ideology goes out the window.

[jakep]

You do not know anything AT ALL about her circumstances.
Think you should share this thread with your boyfriend this evening, as you should in your committed relationship.

[MDWCT2018]

I am not surprised that you are on your own. I dont think I will ever have that issue as what I look for is loyalty in a mate and if he cant give it, then maybe he isn't for me. Maybe thats the answer and probably a good reason why I will never be on my own.

[MDWCT2018]

Jakep Neither do you, but I will definitely show this thread to m boyfriend tonight

[Mamyalynne]

MDW, I think you have answered your own question - you want a partner who will agree with you and share your opinion.

Re the noise nuisance, follow the advice given.

Good luck.

[MDWCT2018]

Calico and chelle7272 BTW as per my OP even my boyfriend has agreed she is a b***h so I really dont know what more to say to you! I think you are fighting your own projections!

[Calicogirl]

You could take it the other way though Spath, her boyfriend DOESN'T think there is a problem, so it's all relative to the individual and the neighbour could very well come on here and posted something like this, and then we'd have the other side of it and not just MD's hang up about her relationship.

'My little boy suffers from autism and has frequent meltdowns which results in him crying sometimes during the night. Our neighbour is awful she's always moaning and complaining and seems so full of herself I can't bring myself to tell her what the situation actually is because I'm pretty sure she won't care. I'm very tired and stressed about the way she makes me feels and I feel her constant moaning is verging on harassment. I don't want to move as my little boy hates change but I am so stressed and unhappy, what can I do?'

There are two sides to everything and some of us are not simplistic enough to think otherwise, we're just trying to be fair, not snipey, not nasty, just balanced.

[spathiphyllum]

There has been some miscommunication here, generalising and most certainly some assumptions.

[spathiphyllum]

calcio, they're all excuses. "i have the TV loud cus i'm deaf". Noise nuisance is that regardless of whys.