Would You Accept His From Your Long Term Partner

[MDWCT2018]

I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and we have been living together for 8 months now .In the early stages he was in awe of me but he has since, become more comfortable with me.
He lives with me in my flat. we have a next door neighbour who is a single mother with a young boy. The mother is a little bit nuts as one would expect being on her own with her child, but she does 'strange' things too such as walking in the hallway to throw her rubbish in sexy slips etc. Hmmmm......
Her child is very sweet and cute, but makes a lot of noise and I mean A-LOT of noise. If he is not screaming and throwing things and whining, it is his mother.
I have complained many times about this to the landlord because these are tiny city flats with thin walls, not exactly the ideal place to raise a child. The mother doesn't work and they never seem to leave their flat. My boyfriend agrees the woman is crazy but thinks I am a b***h for complaining about the child. Believe me, it not something I have done lightly but at 3 am it is like a banshee wailing and is scary. My best friend has said that for whatever reason my boyfriend has taken this Childs side (even though obviously my fight is not with the child) and that I deserve more loyalty from him. My friend has basically said that my boyfriend has chosen this child over me .... do you see it that way?

[Purist]

2K rent in some parts of the country is not a lot, My local council pay one bed and breakfast to keep homeless families over 200k a year in housing benefit.

[Calicogirl]

Yes MD, you're absolutely right.
I'm jealous of you, I want your life, I would actually like to BE you, and spend my time obsessing over the fact that my partner has a dangerous opinion of his own and worrying about some poor girl who puts her trash out in her sleepwear.
Omg what should I do????? Yes you've got it in one, thanks for the eye opener, I will try to get the help I need.
Christ alive.

[MDWCT2018]

Guys for the record ... this is not a council building .... it is in the Square Mile. The landlord rents it out to companies and short lets. He wont tell me the deal with this woman obvs cos of confidentiality but it is highly likely she is receiving govt contributions which I could not care less about. The fact is she can live anywhere and she chooses to live here and is posing a noise nuisance. I may just do as the landlord suggested and record the noise and send it to him and the environmental office to make their own minds up. if she is doing no wrong, then there is nothing to be scared of.
BTW my OP was about my boyfriend, not this woman who I actually couldnt care less about if she and her son were not having such an impact on the quality of my life

[chelle7272]

//The fact is she can live anywhere and she chooses to live here and is posing a noise nuisance.//

How can you know what she chooses and what she 'can' do?

//BTW my OP was about my boyfriend, not this woman who I actually couldnt care less about if she and her son were not having such an impact on the quality of my life//

And we have answered, some of us think he is right.

[woofgang]

and I answered about your boyfriend, as have may other posters.

[MDWCT2018]

Calico I know you want to get the last word on this and I feel so sorry for you and the fact you think because she is a single mother the world and me should lay out a red carpet for her ... maybe you should ask yourself why she is a single mother to begin with instead of attacking my post

[Purist]

Re: your boyfriend, he has expressed an opinion, just because he is living with you does not mean he see's things from the same perspective as you. perhaps he feels sorry for the child being cooped up and obviously unhappy, maybe he see's past the "noise nuisance"
eight months is a short time, its good that he speaks his mind rather than falls in line and just agrees for a quiet life.

[Sqad]

The boyfriend should support YOU as you are the one who's quality if life is being tarnished.
Posters ar underestimating the effect of noise on the body.
Noice needn't be loud to have an effect as low continuous noise may be just as unbearable.
This needs sorting.

[jakep]

So, you work a 12hr day. Does that include your commute?
How can you possibly know that she never leaves her flat or what she wears to put out the rubbish.
Your friend sounds poisonous and your boyfriend (sorry, don’t consider 8 months long term) sounds as if he is coming to his senses in this “getting to know each other phase”.

[MDWCT2018]

chelle7272 this is a private property in the Square Mile, City of London. I know Calico is going to get insecure and attack me for 'bragging' about that. It is not council owned, though she is no doubt receiving some sort of assistance. She is not some poor, hard done by single mother as Calico wants to paint her out to be.

I am interested to know why you couldnt just 'break your lease' in your circumstance, and even then leases are usually annually rented so it is not like you were stuck with it indefinitely?

[chelle7272]

//maybe you should ask yourself why she is a single mother to begin with//

What would that prove? I was a single mum, not out of choice, care to judge me too?

Ridicvul

[MDWCT2018]

I walk to work it is about 10 mins. I work 12 hour days and even some weekends. We are working on projects in different time zones. Today I was MEANT to be working from home .... well...... then this happened!

[sherrardk]

You know nothing about this woman’s situation or how/why she has ended up living next door to you. Maybe you want to find fault with her in the hope that she can be evicted because you don’t want her around your boyfriend?

[MDWCT2018]

chelle7272 well seeing that you are all judging me, I dont see why I shouldn't be free to either?
Plus, you didn't answer my question about the lease.

[Calicogirl]

WowMD, just wow. Keep going because more and more of your delightful personality becomes visible by the second.
She could be a single parent for literally dozens of reasons. Like her partner died, she's the victim of abuse, her relationship maybe just didn't work out, which can happen to anyone, including you or I, so I'd watch how much you bait karma with your superiority if I were you.

[MDWCT2018]

Seriously Sheadkk after all this he can have her! Plenty more fish in the sea I say.

[maggiebee]

Well said sherrardk that was my thought too. Doesn't bode well for the future if this carry on is after only 8 months together.

[chelle7272]

//chelle7272 this is a private property in the Square Mile, City of London. // So?


// It is not council owned,// Doesn;t matter
// though she is no doubt receiving some sort of assistance. She is not some poor, hard done by single mother // All assumption

//I am interested to know why you couldnt just 'break your lease' in your circumstance, and even then leases are usually annually rented so it is not like you were stuck with it indefinitely? // Life is not always that simple, especially with children.

[Neveracrossword]

MDWCT, why didn't you do as the landlord suggested, record the noise? Your focus seems to be on wanting your partner to be in complete agreement with your thoughts and opinions. I'd rather get on with trying to sort the actual problem.

[MDWCT2018]

or maybe Calico I feel she has a tall equine she ought to be poked off tbh." ... does that sound too harsh for this poor old victim you are painting her out be, irrespective of all the facts.
BTW. I remember when I was young our neighbours were forever complaining about the football going in their garden and ruining their flowers .... are they as monstrous as me too???!!!