Spanking Your Children

[spathiphyllum]

For, against, or it's no one elses business what you do behind closed doors?

https://globalnews.ca/news/5096786/banning-spanking-children/

I don't see the issue with striking the bottom of your own infant. There is a difference between spanking a child, and then child abuse.

[Calicogirl]

//Your partner telling you that your outfit didn't suit you is bullying?//

No that isn't what I said Boo, I said, and HC caught my drift perfectly that someone telling you you don't look okay can be bullying and it can be. suggesting someone might look nicer of they wore or did something else is not the same thing, we were at that juncture in the conversation discussing Spath's assertion that one partner is always dominant and I said that's hogwash and it is.
I told Mr Cal he looked like an extra from Spinal Tap the other day, but that wasn't bullying just banterish because we are an equal couple, and he laughed and I laughed and meh all good. If I was dominant then that remark would have been bullying.that was the context I was discussing not most people giving their husband or wife their opinion on how they look.

[B00]

Ahhh right, gotcha. Maybe I read your replies wrong, but I was wondering what kinda snowflake you actually were :p

I kid!

[naomi24]

Crikey! I'm glad we don't analyse our relationship to that degree!!

[Calicogirl]

Crikey no we banter the feck out of each other at all times, he told me I had fat sausage fingers with my rings on the other day, we're actually really hard to offend but that's because we're equal, if we weren't it would be dodgy territory. x

[Peter Pedant]

sounds pretty awful tinker
I hope you have learnt to cope with this

[spathiphyllum]

Suggesting they change attire is bullying, but little sausage fingers is banter? As you can probably tell, it's situational. So no it's not bullying, it's just a partner being honest and open with their other.

If it was bullying then that's a hostile relationship and we're not talking about those

[spathiphyllum]

I still am pretty certain most relationships have a natural dominant. Not assertive dominance, but just natural dominance. I'm still certain most times it's the female.

[tinkerbell23]

It was counter productive Peter because I became defiant & resentful!!!!!

Yeah I can almost joke about it now. Sometimes I think maby my young mind has over dramatised it but I know deep down that it was wrong. Not out of being a bad person... she just lost the head!!

Read an article once that made me think ... coupled with counselling I can totally live with it.

Shes my Mum but shes a friend wife cousin sister daughter etc So much more than just Tinkerbells Mum.

Made mistakes as I didnt come with a manual and I think of her as a person and mabye how her life was around that time and I cant excuse it but Ive tried to reason with it :0)

10000% if she had kept me indoors or no money id have almost died and been very SORRY lol!

I just started to want to teach her a lesson... no matter how had she hit i didnt react!!! X

[spathiphyllum]

Yes tinker that does sound awful and to be honest it sounds quite extreme compared to what i was regarding as a gentle spank. Your situation is one where it is well OTT. And it's interesting bringing up being smacked at the age of 21. People suggested it doesn't and can't possible happen past the age of 16 but of course it does and can.

[B00]

I think you're right Spath, least you are in my case.

Mr Boo is definitely the more dominant of the pair of us. That doesn't mean I don't have a say and usually get my own way in most things, however If push came to shove- he's da boss. Am I resentful? do I feel repressed/bullied? Not in the slightest.

[spathiphyllum]

and in my relationship, if push comes to shove i shut up and keep the Ms happy. That could be restaurant suggestion, film suggestion. I think that's because i'm easy going, so anything to keep her happy i do. To me, that is submissive.

[Rockrose]

//And it's interesting bringing up being smacked at the age of 21. People suggested it doesn't and can't possible happen past the age of 16 but of course it does and can//
Yet you suggested it was OK for a parent to hit their adult child if they felt it necessary!
My own mother tried that I was married and 25 she raised her hand to me as I 'back chatted' her - I walked out of her house and never spoke to her again she died without me saying another word to her!

[spathiphyllum]

"Yet you suggested it was OK for a parent to hit their adult child if they felt it necessary! "

Spank.. Over the knee style.

[spathiphyllum]

Someone mentioned bending a kid over the knee is humiliating for the child, but it differentiates a spank as a punishment, and then just hitting people.

[Rockrose]

//"Yet you suggested it was OK for a parent to hit their adult child if they felt it necessary! "

Spank.. Over the knee style.//

Are you serious? Do you expect a 30 year old to bend over the parents knee to take a slapping?

[spathiphyllum]

I don't expect anything.

[Calicogirl]

Spath an adult child submitting themselves for a 'spanking' from their parents by allowing them to bend them over their knee and 'spank' them is really really weird. If any adult child and adult parent thought that was okay I'd tbh think the were getting some sort of sexual kick out of it, it's so weird.

[Rockrose]

Lol Calico - I can just imagine my father's reaction to that!!
It would appear though that the OP considers it perfectly normal for a parent to continue 'spanking' their child no matter what the age!

[Calicogirl]

I seriously cannot get my head around whether this is a massive wind up or if he really thinks these things.
It reminded me of 'bitty...bitty now' lol

[bainbrig]

Spanking a child is often a mother’s “role”, and as such is an awful thing, pyschologically.

The human being to whom you have been closest throughout your life, who has loved, protected and nurtured you, suddenly removes her love and violently assaults you.

No wonder so many guys are obsessed with sex and spanking, trying to finally understand that withdrawal of love combined with pain.