Question Author
thank you all. OH was actually rather more comfortable today once we convinced the palliative people to put more morphine in the drip; after that, asleep pretty much all day, and even responded to video clips of baby O - admittedly by moaning, but that is an actual response nonetheless.
I don't know where that gets us - OH is on end-of-life care but in fact fractionally better today, just when I'd been praying for a quick death as the best thing.