I was raised by a herd of billy goats. We couldn't afford a nanny. ___ The total number of people who get words wrong, would cover an area the thighs of whales. ___ I went for a drink with some heavy... ...
Did Saul Bellow? I know Oscar was Wilde, but wasn't Thornton Wilder? I think John was Gay and Hopkins was Manly, but then, who cares if Immanuel Kant when Kubla Khan ? 🙂
A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy." The mother asked, "What did you do?" The boy replied, "I hit him with my... ...
Church Ladies With typewriters are at it again! They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually... ...
I was talking to my neighbour today, he said, "I went to one of those Turkish baths on holiday...They shaved with razor-sharp blade below the neck line, snipped ear & nose hairs, waxed chest hairs... ...
A man hovers above a man on floor, pointing at him he says ''You won't ever threaten me again will ya'' A bystander shouts 'the MP for Runcorn *$&^*ing smacking someone on the floor' There is a... ...
Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily, and makes her breath smell. In a statement, she said: "This super colour... ...
I got talked into buying a pre Cremation package today, the upside is if I die in a fire I get half the money back. ___ Someone has stolen a broken set of scales which I was hoping to fix. They'll... ...
I was looking for a good loo cleaner, so I asked a lady at the supermarket, "which is the best stuff for cleaning the loo" she said "ammonia cleaner" I said "sorry I thought you worked... ...
A thief in the butcher shop got charged with chop lifting. The Judge said he mutton do it again. ___ My wife is doing an experiment. She's wearing a Man Utd shirt for a week to get peoples reactions.... ...