Ellipsis Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Programming jokes ....

Q. How did the programmer die in the shower? A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: * Lather. * Rinse. * Repeat....

OAKLEY52

How do I prove I was not divorced.

My husband passed away with cancer 20 years ago and I will be entitled to a widows pension from his scheme from September. He would have been 60. A letter was issued to me at the time saying the...

divegirl

ingrown toenails.

Hi, my daughter suffers from these [in fact we all do in our family] and is in near on constant pain right now. She had to go to the doctors when one became infected a while back, but aside from...

netibiza

Middlewich to Hendon, how long?

How long would it take (at normal speeds) to reach Hendon North London from Middlewich, Cheshire? Thanks

scorpio

murray and djokovik aussie open betting

im getting odds off 2/5 for djokovik to win, if i put 100 quid on how much will i get back profit. Dont fancy murray whatsoever, another henman....

rabet

TV picture missing!

I have a small LCD television. Suddenly the screen has gone blank; the sound is still there, the volume and channel-switching controls are still operating. Any ideas, please?

Stargazer

Lands End to John o' Groats

I still have one that eludes me. "Mr. Ford's finest (8 letters) must be a town or city in the UK. No luck so far. Have had a few suggestions but none are right so far. Can anyone help please?

smoggyuk

Can my employee make me clean the the work place?

I'm employed in sales/design/production at a sign manufacturer. The problem I have is ive never signed a contract with specific responsibilities. Today the boss brought everyone together and told us...

Baldric

Hibernating Acer

I have an Acer Aspire One Notebook, which I use if I want a quick check on something. Last night I switched it on, logged onto a Site, all OK so far, then it displayed "preparing to...

nannakath

Breakthrough Breast Cancer Quiz

Music Theme Quiz= 2/3 Aries and 1/3 Taurus in a capital (5+2+5) This composer didn`t actually come from the bitter north(7) Small lethal creature, spotted in South America(6+6) Any musical suggestions...

Rodge2

How to make really nice scrambled egg?

Mine always comes out clumped - quite nice, but definitely clumped. I have had it in cafes and it's all beautiful and crumbly looking. How do you achieve this?...Details please I'm a bit carp at...

sandyRoe

Should Redknapp be red faced?

Bungs, off-shore bank accounts, and threatening journalists, have been mentioned in court. Is it just him or are all football managers in the same boat?

Halfpint77

Maisonette or Flat

Can somebody tell me what they mean by a purpose built maisonette?

giveup

Wireless Internet Access

My husbands laptop is showing that the router is connected but telling him no Internet access. Any suggestions gratefully received.

joko

Browser choice...

I am looking for a new browser that is SMALL and uses very little system resources and it fast. I have been using Avant because its supposedly tiny but i am finding many sites like youtube no longer...

brionon

Dogs

I'd like to see a programme about how to re-act if you or your kids are attacked by a Dog.

Zacs-Master

Odds on winning

On a 38 number roulette wheel, what are the odds on throwing the same number 3 times?

jo-jo2012

dogs trapped in mine shaft

dogs trapped in mineshaft whist my dogs were being walked on my local country park they dissapeared they had fell 20 feet down collasped mineshaft, the fire service were amazing and an hour and half...

RATTER15

My qoute for the day!

Religion is a by product of fear. For much of human history, it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary? -- Arthur C. Clarke...

poodledoo

Returned Quiz answers

Several of the quizzes I entered in Dec/ Jan have been returned in my SAE with just an answer sheet to the quiz. Am I the only person who gets irked by this? I like to get my answer sheet returned so...

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