PENIS VAN LESBIAN --- A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome, and with experience on Broadway, he had the right...
Two successful businessmen in the centre of townwere sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop... As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I...
Very early Wednesday....can't get back to sleep...the fly by pterydactyles are up...crows actually but what a din...looks dry and still out there but still dark...up to do mum and dad's garden...
.There is this bloke who has a 25 inch penis. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dic* smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he...
went to bed early this evening - as i have a long and emotional day tomorrow, at my grandmother's funeral the trouble is that there is so much going through my mind, i simply cannot get to sleep i...
I would be interested to know the age at which the smokers on AB started the habit. This was triggered by a thread a few days back about how to further discourage smoking. I say the only way is to...
I said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'She keeps waking up.' I upset the wife's mother the other Guy Fawkes Night. I fell off the fire. She told...
What's the difference between a postman and a postwoman? A few letters. Famous Last Words Anne Boleyn: "Henry! I am NOT giving you head!" I once went on an 18-30 holiday, which was fun, but 12yrs is...
I was due for a smear test with the doctor later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's surgery to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am . I had...
We are off on our hols Friday, Its going to be a 3 & a half hour car journey so I wondered if any of you have any car games for the kids 8 & 6 yr olds. get fed up with eye spy.
jem...
A man is walking behind his wife and says: "Baby, your arse is getting so fat, it's looking like a washing machine." The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking. Bedtime comes around, the man is asking...
I got my clock back today, and I am very pleased with what the clockmaker has done. He collected, repaired, delivered and set it up for me. I have had it moved so that it is safe from any knocks....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2328035/Machete-killer-Kenyan-man-butchered-400-people-homeland-stay-UK-benefits.html One more measure of evil so as to dilute our culture in that 'horrible to...
When I was doing my exams at school I decided I really wanted to be a policewoman, but then WPC Yvonne Fletcher was killed and it scared me so I didnt pursue that idea. Dont think I ever did really...
Back in November I told you about my son and daughter in law who had just found out she was pregnant after alot of past problems. Today the babe was born by Cesarean Section. It is a little girl,...
After living in this house for nearly three years the broadband/phone people think they have finally found out why our Internet runs so depressingly slowly (0.4 thingies) and it should be fixed in the...
