Donate SIGN UP

excelsior-1

921 to 940 of 7617

First Previous 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Next Last

Avatar Image
Jeza

This Is Dedicated To.....you Know Who You Are.

An English ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Taff 'Good day, mind...
21:46 Tue 27th May 20146 answers, last by cupid04 14:21 Wed 28th May 2014
Avatar Image
cupid04

Two Guys...

Two guys were discussing changing trends on sex and marriage. 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married,' the first guy says. 'Did you?' 'Hmmm....I'm not sure,' the second replies. 'What was...
22:57 Mon 26th May 20143 answers, last by marval 23:04 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
inksplotter

You Snooze You Lose-James Bond.

Same rules as before. The loser is the first who doesn't give a right answer. Now it's singers of James Bond theme tunes. Dusty Springfield (The Look of Love from the first Casino Royale) or Lani Hall...
21:26 Mon 26th May 20147 answers, last by inksplotter 23:39 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
cupid04

Doctor.

A man goes to his doctor's surgery complaining he has something stuck up his backside. Upon examination, the doctor finds a £10 note lodged firmly inside his back passage. He pulls it out, then...
21:08 Mon 26th May 201416 answers, last by askyourgran 22:21 Tue 27th May 2014
Avatar Image
maggiebee

Happy Bunny

Just finished filling all my planters and hanging baskets. Looking good even if I say so myself. Just need some sunshine now!
20:48 Mon 26th May 20148 answers, last by gness 22:10 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
sixpence999

Confectionary And Dingbat

Confectionary. Baseball break. No number of letters Dingbat EURINOPE Thanks...
20:12 Mon 26th May 20148 answers, last by sixpence999 12:49 Tue 27th May 2014
Avatar Image
marval

Sweater

Mrs. Murphy had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband. He was away on business. She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said:"The buttons of the sweater are removed...
18:51 Mon 26th May 20142 answers, last by excelsior-1 19:56 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
sixpence999

Rhyming Words

A word that can follow red, silver or copper (5) to rhyme with Cliff
18:50 Mon 26th May 20149 answers, last by sixpence999 12:50 Tue 27th May 2014
Avatar Image
kvalidir

Going Cheese Rolling

Going Cheese Rolling Now- wish me luck :)
09:37 Mon 26th May 201419 answers, last by HansUrbancka 11:02 Tue 27th May 2014
Avatar Image
marval

Best Salesman?

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best. The first said, that he is so good he sold a colour television to a blind man. The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man. The third...
17:27 Mon 26th May 201410 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:43 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
cupid04

Food.

Q] Why is food better than sex with a man ? A) Because you don't have to wait an hour if you want seconds....
17:18 Mon 26th May 201417 answers, last by berniecuddles 17:39 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
excelsior-1

I Have Just Won.......

......a 'worst body odour' contest nobody else came close...
17:05 Mon 26th May 20148 answers, last by marval 17:22 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
redman41

Secret Voices Of Hollywood

BBC4 10.30-12.00 Midnight last night(Sunday). Did anyone watch this intriguing and revealing Documentary about the world of 'Ghost Singers' for some of Hollywood's greatest Stars of Major Musicals....
11:40 Mon 26th May 201416 answers, last by jno 11:10 Tue 27th May 2014
Avatar Image
McMouse

Education....!!!

A rural couple had made sacrifices to save money to send their only son to college. Once there, he began to let his hair grow long, plus sideburns, a mustache, and a goatee. When his hair was...
10:48 Mon 26th May 20146 answers, last by Amycheal 11:21 Thu 05th Jun 2014
Avatar Image
excelsior-1

Only In The Movies

When paying for a taxi, do not look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming...
21:01 Sun 25th May 201450 answers, last by methyl 11:39 Wed 28th May 2014
Avatar Image
Jeza

This May Be A Daft Thing To Say..but

When I was in employment (now retired) I always turned the washing machine on when I left for work. After retirement I turned it on when going out shopping etc. A couple of months ago the machine made...
22:06 Sun 25th May 201452 answers, last by Gill1941 15:19 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
queenofmean

I Need Your Help

I've been having this battle with myself for the last 24hours or so and I have decided to ask you lovely residents on AB to help. I have an Amazon Voucher (£15) that I was awarded from doing my...
20:02 Sun 25th May 201441 answers, last by queenofmean 22:44 Mon 26th May 2014
Avatar Image
maggiebee

Uproar

Two crows going absolutely mental in the garden so I went to investigate. They were attacking neighbour's cat which was cowering on the ground. Guess our Millie got a bit too close to a nest.
18:42 Sun 25th May 20145 answers, last by tonyav 20:51 Sun 25th May 2014
Avatar Image
marval

Okay

Okay Think of a number. Multiply it by 3. Now add 5. Take away the number you first thought of. Now add 7. Subtract 2. Add back the number you first thought of. Now, close your eyes. . . . Dark, isn't...
18:11 Sun 25th May 20144 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:40 Sun 25th May 2014
Avatar Image
excelsior-1

There Will Still Be Light Bulbs In The Twenty Fourth Century

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? A:...
19:14 Sat 24th May 20142 answers, last by Arksided 18:36 Sun 25th May 2014

921 to 940 of 7617

First Previous 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Next Last