excelsior-1 Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Do You Have A Clumsy Oh?

1. mine upset a mug of sweet, milky coffee of the phone and then let it set. sill have to use a mallet to hammer the keys down. 2. no names (certainly not mine although I was involved in the result)...

lozzer50

He's Here At Last !!!

i can proudly announce that after a very long labour, which resulted in a c section, my grandson Luke was born at 2.04am this morning weighing in at a healthy 10ls 6 1/2 oz.Mum and baby are doing just...

marval

Doctor Sqad's Notes

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills,...

cupid04

Viagra.

Paul is having problems making love to his wife and confides in his mate Alex. 'I've got a spare box of Viagra you can have' Alex says. 'Give them a try.' A week later they meet for a drink. 'So how's...

maggiebee

Happy Bunny

My son-in-law did the Balmoral 10k today. Finished in 57.30 and raised a whole lot of dosh for charity. Well done Alan.

excelsior-1

Somebody Started A Fire........

....... at my Sesame Street themed puppet shop, half of my stock has been damaged. I'm suing the culprit for loss of Ernie's....

albaqwerty

Come Dine With Me

there's a lovely lad on this evening (I know it's a repat of a repeat of a repat etc) But there was a comment by Dave Lamb about Lady Portia (transvestite/drag queen) when he said that Lady Portia,...

RATTER15

I Clearly Need To Be Drinking More Ale!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/AsapSCIENCE/photos/a.236720259792345.60296.162558843875154/268581386606232/?type=1&theater...

NoMercy

Reasons To Be (Very) Cheerful

1. My dad, having been rushed to hospital and diagnosed as having had a full-blown stroke, has been re-diagnosed with severe migraine after further radiological investigations failed to support the...

marval

Wrong Question?

A man loved nothing better than to sit at a nearby bar for long evenings and get stoned with his cronies. But his wife was a social climber, and was prone to having her "ladies" in for bridge etc....

cupid04

Elderly Neighbour.

A woman notices her elderly next door neighbour lying flat on his face in his vegetable patch. 'Are you okay? she calls anxiously. 'I'm fine,' he yells back. 'I'm planting potatoes but I've lost my...

corylus

Can You Beat This?

Our post today has just arrived at 5.50pm!

anotheoldgit

Charles And Camilla

Well it seems that simply by posting a news report on the accidental death of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall's brother it has opened a whole can of worms full of hatred against this Camilla. So I think...

Tilly2

I Didn't Have An Easter Egg

but Mr Tilly bought me a ...................................guess what? Not jewellery, clothes, make-up, perfume, anything for the house, holiday, theatre ticket, garden stuff. Just something I will...

queenofmean

Sad Day For Me

...I was made redundant. Feeling all over the place but I have a list of what I need to do so will get on that tomorrow. I will have many memories of my time there and I hope I can build new ones...

excelsior-1

Excluding Your Current Partner.....

.....who would be your top five fantasy partners? - from past or present for me :--- 1. Halle Berry 2. Miranda Cosgrove 3. Elizabeth Taylor (in 1951) 4. Konnie Huq 5. Linda Park...

RATTER15

Well The House That We Are Moving To Has Now Been Cleansed!

Today we were invited for dinner by the landlord and landlady of the house that we will be renting, How nice was that! Roast duck!! We arrived as invited at 15.00hrs and we left at 21.00hrs,...

Slapshot

Good Morning Early Birds

Struggling!!! second night shift not much kip yesterday.... looks not too bad outside but pretty dreech in the south....Happy easter folks

weecalf

More Cooking

Now there are hundreds of hours of cooking on the television there must be new food stuffs about .Do they use paint or other colouring agents to enhance the look of the dishes .perhaps we will have...