Donate SIGN UP

excelsior-1

121 to 140 of 7617

First Previous 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next Last

Avatar Image
tonyav

How To Cut Crime !

How to cut crime, ban mankini's. http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/mankini-ban-cuts-newquay-crime/ar-BBkkldE...
19:47 Thu 28th May 201522 answers, last by joggerjayne 23:19 Thu 28th May 2015
Avatar Image
queenofmean

What A Morning

Went to the GP mainly about my wonky hip - been sent for an X-Ray (shall do that tomorrow) got antibiotics for my toe - lower dosage and not the usual suspect either and been informed I have the...
12:10 Thu 28th May 20157 answers, last by queenofmean 18:45 Thu 28th May 2015
Avatar Image
excelsior-1

My Local Pub - - -

- - -is serving a sharing meal that costs £3 million it's called the Sepp Platter...
17:20 Thu 28th May 20154 answers, last by Baldric 17:28 Thu 28th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

My Friend

My friend came over to my house earlier and I showed him my collection of music magazines. After he left I noticed that a few had gone missing. In future I'll keep my friends close and my NMEs even...
22:10 Wed 27th May 20152 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:31 Thu 28th May 2015
Avatar Image
BRIGHT SPARK

One For The Guys

A woman asks her husband to take her to a school reunion.On arrival she meets up with loads of old mates and sits at a table and starts to get drunk and giggly....like they do!.Later in the evening...
07:59 Thu 28th May 20151 answer, last by excelsior-1 15:27 Thu 28th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

My Son

My son has become a professional DJ as of late. He is doing really well for himself. I'm just not sure about the kind of people he mixes with these days...
18:26 Wed 27th May 20156 answers, last by jim360 22:23 Thu 28th May 2015
Avatar Image
wolf63

Red Arrows & Nature

I have no idea if this is real or has been photoshopped. It's good either way. Please enjoy it! http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03318/photobomb-1_3318809k.jpg...
15:47 Wed 27th May 201513 answers, last by Baldric 21:21 Wed 27th May 2015
Avatar Image
slinky.kate

O>K> Whats Cooking Tonight

for son ,home made broccoli and cheese soup and lasagne,cheese and herb bread. mine is,spaghetti and prawns(and soup,but mine has blue cheese)...
15:58 Wed 27th May 201539 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:07 Wed 27th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Recipe

I was going to have some friends round later, so I figured I'd cook a meal. I found a dish that looked promising. In a pan, heat 1 cup of D until boiling, reduce heat and let simmer. After 5 minutes...
15:49 Wed 27th May 20151 answer, last by excelsior-1 15:58 Wed 27th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Just Wanted

A deacon walks into a crowded room and screams "fire." As the people run out he says "I'm kidding, I Just wanted to deacon-jest the place"...
22:33 Tue 26th May 20152 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:17 Wed 27th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

A Date

I went on a date last night, with a man who was obssessed with nuts. All I got was a pecan the cheek....
21:40 Tue 26th May 201536 answers, last by retrocop 22:15 Tue 26th May 2015
Avatar Image
The Builder

Seen In A Paper Recently..........

A conductor, saying that, in his time, he's conducted more orchestras than you could shake a stick at ................
17:33 Tue 26th May 20156 answers, last by excelsior-1 19:42 Tue 26th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

My Boss

My boss told me to make a film about something which holds paper together. Unfortunately, I only showed him a few clips...
19:36 Tue 26th May 20157 answers, last by Psybbo 19:52 Tue 26th May 2015
Avatar Image
maggiebee

Operations

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the Best patients to operate on. The first surgeon, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is...
19:06 Tue 26th May 20153 answers, last by jim360 19:46 Tue 26th May 2015
Avatar Image
rsvp

Grass Snake In Pond

Just watched a beautiful grass snake swimming in one of our ponds - have altered all amphibians and fish to be on the lookout for an asp so now it's every man for himself.
13:14 Tue 26th May 201516 answers, last by rsvp 17:58 Wed 27th May 2015
Avatar Image
smurf

Dingbats

1 KEY &T 2 RO Poorch 3 YOU THE PAST 4 BUSINESS (then theres a smiley face) thanks for any help...
18:19 Mon 25th May 201510 answers, last by poetprince 21:47 Mon 08th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
janzman

A Bank Holiday Smile....maybe..

1. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 2. A hand grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation. 4....
16:58 Mon 25th May 20155 answers, last by AngelinaRyland01 11:39 Tue 26th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Was

I was trying to hold a map of a French town in my hand. The trouble is I kept dropping it. It was Toulouse....
14:27 Mon 25th May 201512 answers, last by McMouse 15:49 Tue 26th May 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Never Take

Never take your nasal decongestant to the capital of Iceland. It'll wreck your Vick....
14:55 Mon 25th May 20153 answers, last by bookbinder 16:30 Mon 25th May 2015
Avatar Image
dannyk13

Win For The Abers

Just noticed I have won £50 on the Telegraph weekly prize crossword....
15:29 Mon 25th May 201523 answers, last by Captain2 20:11 Mon 25th May 2015

121 to 140 of 7617

First Previous 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next Last