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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”...
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Hopkirk
It's not just for kids, is it?
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Hopkirk
I’m reading a great book about an immortal dog – It's impossible to put down....
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Hopkirk
I told a friend of mine I liked Beyoncé. She said “Whatever floats your boat” I said “No, that’s buoyancy…”...
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Hopkirk
How do you learn to estimate the weight of dogs? First you need to pick up a few pointers....
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Hopkirk
My wife and I are having big arguments about what to wear while gardening. She keeps digging in her heels....
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Hopkirk
A century ago lots of people had horses but only the rich had cars. Now loads of people have cars, but only the rich have horses. The stables have turned....
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Hopkirk
So she phones me last night, and says “Come on over, no one’s home!” Well I shot round, but when I got there, there was no one home....
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Hopkirk
I spent the last three days alone trying to learn escapology. I need to get out more....
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Hopkirk
I’ll never forget what my late uncle said to me. He said, "I’m sorry I’m late"....
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Hopkirk
Venison’s dear, isn’t it?...
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Hopkirk
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens....
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Hopkirk
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a shih tzu....
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Hopkirk
I asked my boss what I should do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap. He said just pop it in the corner. It took me four hours....
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Hopkirk
My sister gets angry when I burn her toast. It turns out she is blacktoast intolerant....
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Hopkirk
My wife gets annoyed if I mess with her red wine. I've added fruit and lemonade, and now she's sangria than ever.
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Hopkirk
Did anyone see the joke I posted recently about my spine? It was about a weak back....
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Hopkirk
I asked my Russian penpal how he was doing. He replied "I can't complain"....
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Hopkirk
How did Jesus pay for our sins? He used Praypal....
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Hopkirk
It's Forest Green Rovers v Alvechurch, if you need to watch more high quality football.

201 to 220 of 1162

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