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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I was really angry when I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary. I said, 'Mark, my words!'...
08:22 Mon 16th Jan 20239 answers, last by elliemay1 11:07 Mon 16th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I was in the shop and picked up a can of fly spray. I asked the assistant "Is this any good for wasps? "No" he said. "It kills them"...
09:23 Sun 15th Jan 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 13:21 Sun 15th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My neighbour's house is just like ours, but he says his heating bills are much lower. He said he can come and give me some advice on how to reduce the costs. I said "Come round any time. My door is...
08:33 Sat 14th Jan 20231 answer, last by Chipchopper 11:59 Sat 14th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I thought PPI was just something you got at the swimming baths if you didn't wear goggles.
07:48 Fri 13th Jan 20235 answers, last by Canary42 14:45 Fri 13th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I was in a lingerie shop. I said to the assistant "Are these panties satin?" She said "No, they're new."...
08:22 Thu 12th Jan 20237 answers, last by Chipchopper 13:33 Fri 13th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Which Manager Goes 1St?

Frank Lampard David Moyes Graham Potter Nathan Jones Pep Guardiola...
00:04 Thu 12th Jan 202313 answers, last by Hopkirk 17:25 Sat 14th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Grandad asked me how to print on his computer. I said control P. He said I haven't been able to do that for years....
07:57 Wed 11th Jan 20233 answers, last by Patsy33 08:19 Wed 11th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

New Socks

Do you wash them before using them?
21:11 Tue 10th Jan 202366 answers, last by ferlew 17:42 Thu 12th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I bought a really nice twelve year old Scotch. Obviously his parents weren't best pleased....
08:04 Tue 10th Jan 20238 answers, last by Canary42 13:48 Tue 10th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I've got the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo, I saw an elephant....
08:18 Mon 09th Jan 20234 answers, last by Patsy33 17:12 Mon 09th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

When my girlfriend suggested we play doctors and nurses, I was really hoping for something more exciting than being left in a corridor for two days.
08:42 Sun 08th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

When they buried the man who created Tetris, the whole cemetery disappeared.
09:15 Sat 07th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. The odds were against me....
08:31 Fri 06th Jan 20232 answers, last by mallyh 09:40 Fri 06th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Lifts terrify me. I'm taking steps to avoid them....
07:58 Thu 05th Jan 20237 answers, last by Patsy33 14:28 Thu 05th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Did you hear about the origami porn channel? It's paper view only....
09:55 Wed 04th Jan 20234 answers, last by Canary42 22:31 Wed 04th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Michael Portillo

Does he mind the mildly suggestive jokes made at his expense, by Victoria Coren Mitchell at the end of Only Connect?
19:12 Tue 03rd Jan 202322 answers, last by 237SJ 21:28 Thu 05th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards', and I thought... 'That's just spam...
07:59 Tue 03rd Jan 20233 answers, last by DTCwordfan 08:13 Tue 03rd Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in....
07:54 Mon 02nd Jan 20237 answers, last by mohammedahtheer 05:56 Thu 19th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Retirement Age

Why did women used to have a retirement age of 60, when men's was 65?
11:06 Sun 01st Jan 202327 answers, last by wolf63 17:15 Sun 01st Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I told my wife when I die, I'd like to die having sex. She "at least it will be quick"....
09:30 Sun 01st Jan 20232 answers, last by murraymints 09:48 Sun 01st Jan 2023

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