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marval

Fine Figure

Jill's fine figure had been poured into a beautiful form-fitting gown and she made a point of calling her date's attention to it over and over again throughout the evening. Finally, over a nightcap in...

marval

Which Day?

Strolling through the singles' bar, the rich man spotted a lovely young woman sitting alone at a table, and walked over. "Say, babe, how about coming along and giving me a little head?" The woman...

marval

It's Those Blondes Again

One day two blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, "A tan for two please!" The cashier said, “Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and...

marval

Cruise

Bernie and Faye, a wealthy couple, are coming up to their 50th wedding anniversary and Faye has been thinking for some months about how they should celebrate. Then she comes to a decision. "Bernie,"...

marval

Under The Kilt?

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree. As he slept, two female tourists...

marval

What Was Really Said

One fine day in ancient Rome, Julius Caesar turned his attention to a problem plaguing his mighty empire: laundry. Getting all those white togas clean was a constant pain. He also had some weird ideas...

marval

What A Hoot

Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth, with Tom even...

marval

Poor Dog

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible...

marval

Kidnap

Mr Smith was seated comfortably in his living room one evening when a rock crashed through the window and landed at his feet, amidst a shower of splintered glass. To the rock was attached a note:...

marval

Bad Timing

"How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife. “Not too well,” said the preacher. "It was going just fine until I asked the bride if she would obey and she said, “'Do you think I'm...

marval

It Pays Not To Be Greedy

An upstate New York man was rich in almost every way. His estate was worth millions. He owned houses, land, antiques and cattle. But though on the outside he had it all, he was very unhappy on the...

marval

Have You?

One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife. Later that night, the...

marval

Out

The Governor made room on his busy calendar to hear the pleas of one Mrs. Smith that her husband be released from the state penitentiary. 'What was he sentenced for?' asked the Governor gently. 'For...

marval

Just Married

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him,...

marval

Shock

A man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialled 999. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what...

marval

How Much?

'Is that the Liverpool Echo?' said Murphy. 'It is.' 'How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?' 'Five pounds an inch,' replied the receptionist. Too dear!' snapped Murphy. 'Why? What are you...

marval

Irishisms

'How do you gauge the time when you're cooking the dinner? Do you use an electronic device or what?' asked the consumer researcher. 'Not at all,' explained Kitty Carey. 'It's simpler than that. In the...

marval

Radio Freak

Old Brendon Boyle was a short-wave radio freak. Every evening without fail he would sit and twiddle the dials, and receive the most scratchy and ear-splitting noises for his pains. One evening as...

marval

New Gorilla

Times were tough. The recession had really bitten and jobs were scarce. Murphy had tried everything, manual labour, waiting on tables, window cleaning. Each job just seemed to melt away and now he was...

marval

Following On From Starone's Joke

This is allegedly an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B & Q in Tunbridge Wells. They hired him because he was so funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) SEX: Not...

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Best Answers

Fine Figure

Which Day?

It's Those Blondes Again

Cruise

Under The Kilt?

What Was Really Said

What A Hoot

Poor Dog

Kidnap

Bad Timing

It Pays Not To Be Greedy

Have You?

Out

Just Married

Shock

How Much?

Irishisms

Radio Freak

New Gorilla

Following On From Starone's Joke

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