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marval

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marval

Turning Into

A man visited his psychiatrist and told him that he thought he was turning into a packet of biscuits. "What sort of biscuits?' asked the psychiatrist. "Square ones," said the man. "With little holes...
21:22 Fri 09th Aug 201326 answers, last by Spoonboy 23:01 Fri 09th Aug 2013
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marval

The Wife

The wife went ballistic when I punched a constable yesterday. She was nearly as mad as the museum staff. My mate fancies himself as an artist and wants to sketch me. I told him, "I'm very busy at the...
15:42 Fri 09th Aug 20132 answers, last by cupid04 15:51 Fri 09th Aug 2013
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marval

What?

What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off of walls? Rick O' Shea!...
22:36 Thu 08th Aug 20135 answers, last by frugalfred 11:58 Sat 10th Aug 2013
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marval

A Cat's Dictionary

Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness. Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty. Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something. Human being: Automatic door opener for cats. Purrpetual:...
18:50 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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marval

Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

9. E-mail replies from some guy named "Fluffy." 8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip. 6. Your mouse has...
16:31 Thu 08th Aug 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 16:54 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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marval

Life Lessons

1. A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. 2. One good way to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage -...
10:42 Tue 06th Aug 20134 answers, last by Quoi 13:03 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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marval

What Happened?

What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went to the Amusement Park at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we...
22:01 Mon 05th Aug 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 10:52 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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marval

Two Priests

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, "What do you think you are doing?" "What if you have an accident?" The priests said, "Don't...
17:06 Mon 05th Aug 20134 answers, last by marval 21:57 Mon 05th Aug 2013
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marval

Oh Dear

Paddy went to England. He was walking in a town which had a clock on the tower. Suddenly a man comes up and asked him if he wanted to buy the clock on the tower. Paddy said, "Yes". “Give me fifty...
17:19 Sun 04th Aug 20134 answers, last by pixie373 18:30 Sun 04th Aug 2013
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marval

Last Ticket

A woman who is heavily pregnant goes to the train station to return home, after a visit to her mother. As she tried to book her overnight sleeper ticket, she found out it was the last ticket. Taking...
16:02 Sun 04th Aug 20133 answers, last by frozengal 05:57 Mon 05th Aug 2013
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marval

My Job Is

A newlywed girl was being welcomed at her husband's family’s home where they were going to live. After they welcomed her she gave a speech. My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new...
13:35 Sat 03rd Aug 20131 answer, last by maggiebee 16:24 Mon 05th Aug 2013
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marval

Money Talks

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared,she confides this 'news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to...
19:09 Fri 02nd Aug 20134 answers, last by Jemisa 01:03 Sat 03rd Aug 2013
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marval

But First

A limousine was taking a beautiful raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tyre went flat. The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for road service. Can you change it...
16:56 Fri 02nd Aug 20133 answers, last by cupid04 17:01 Fri 02nd Aug 2013
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marval

Congratulations

An Army major was conducting a field test when communications went dead, just when headquarters initiated a call to him. Immediately, he jumped into a jeep and ordered a sergeant to speed to the...
16:42 Fri 02nd Aug 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:40 Fri 02nd Aug 2013
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marval

Three For The Price Of One

"How does Susan like being pregnant?" Martin asked his friend John. "Oh, she's not pregnant," John replied, "she's expecting." "What's the difference?" Martin asked. "Well," John explained. "She's...
19:53 Mon 29th Jul 20131 answer, last by jim360 21:36 Mon 29th Jul 2013
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Upset Blonde

A blonde woman went to see a Doctor, complaining of an upset stomach. The Doctor asked, "What did you have for dinner last night?" "Oysters," she replied. "Were the oysters fresh?" asked the doctor....
11:24 Sun 28th Jul 20132 answers, last by craft1948 01:02 Mon 29th Jul 2013
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marval

Gotcha

Marvin was a 14-handicapper, but one day he walked up to his club pro, a scratch golfer, and challenged him to a match. He proposed they put up £100 each on the outcome. "But," Marvin said to the...
19:49 Sat 27th Jul 20135 answers, last by cupid04 17:02 Sun 28th Jul 2013
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marval

New Car

A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession. Even to the supermarket, which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he...
16:21 Sat 27th Jul 20132 answers, last by Jemisa 23:59 Sat 27th Jul 2013
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marval

Advice For Men

Never laugh at your wife's choice's. Remember, you are one of them....
15:40 Sat 27th Jul 20132 answers, last by tonyav 22:18 Sat 27th Jul 2013
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marval

Interesting Definitions

School: A place where Dad pays and Son plays. Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich. Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills....
23:15 Fri 26th Jul 20133 answers, last by marval 15:22 Wed 14th Aug 2013

2181 to 2200 of 3998

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