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marval

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marval

More Creatures

A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes. If you want to know how many bees Noah had... check the Ark Hives What do you call a panda deep in thought? A ponda. Every time the doorbell...
16:36 Tue 04th Jun 20134 answers, last by seadogg 21:35 Tue 04th Jun 2013
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marval

Creatures

Dogs are tough. I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy. I've just bought that new Lynx deodorant - breadcrumb edition. The birds can't get enough of...
16:09 Tue 04th Jun 20134 answers, last by Fanriffic 21:23 Tue 04th Jun 2013
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marval

Learning Golf

A woman is learning how to play golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult a golf pro. When she sees the golf pro, she...
20:51 Mon 03rd Jun 20132 answers, last by askyourgran 21:19 Mon 03rd Jun 2013
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marval

Two Blondes

A blonde went to a computer shop in anger and threw her new laptop on the desk at the sales person. She told the salesman, "You have cheated me. I cannot transfer a file from my previous laptop."...
15:46 Sun 02nd Jun 20132 answers, last by 1ndex 15:53 Sun 02nd Jun 2013
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marval

Doctor's Orders

On a busy Medical/Surgery ward the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition. "This patient is a fellow physician and my favourite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he...
13:54 Sun 02nd Jun 20134 answers, last by marval 14:08 Sun 02nd Jun 2013
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marval

Shopping

I went into my local newsagents and I saw that he had put up a big sign saying, "NO READING IN THIS SHOP" I grabbed 4 bars of chocolate, took them to the counter and said, "Which of these is the Dairy...
12:22 Sun 02nd Jun 20135 answers, last by Fanriffic 22:31 Sun 02nd Jun 2013
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marval

What's Your Ambition?

An army Major visiting some sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush...
18:14 Sat 01st Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 19:49 Sat 01st Jun 2013
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marval

I Went

I went to an AA meeting last night. The shops were closed and I needed some batteries. I went to get my body waxed yesterday; they did a really bad job. Oh well I should have gone to pecshavers. How...
21:58 Fri 31st May 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 22:11 Fri 31st May 2013
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marval

Who Needs A Doctor?

A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help." A blonde walks into a...
14:19 Fri 31st May 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 22:12 Fri 31st May 2013
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marval

Who Wants A Laugh

Do you want to express your anger at James Bond? Join the Q. Can you believe it? This guy wins 181m lottery on Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just two days later. Talk about luck! I...
17:47 Thu 30th May 20132 answers, last by ELVIS68 20:29 Thu 30th May 2013
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marval

Marval Is Tired

Marval went to see the doctor Sqad. Doctor Sqad said, "You are looking very weak and exhausted Marval? Are you properly taking the four meals a day that I advised?" Marval said, "Oh my God doctor...
21:27 Wed 29th May 201310 answers, last by shoota 22:09 Wed 29th May 2013
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marval

It's Those Kids Again

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mother looked back once while she was driving," he announced...
17:17 Wed 29th May 20133 answers, last by Jemisa 11:30 Mon 15th Jul 2013
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marval

What If?

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mum spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm...
22:18 Tue 28th May 20132 answers, last by frozengal 10:17 Thu 30th May 2013
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marval

It Is Time

I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day. He said, “Only if you make up the time." I said, “OK. It's 35 past 50." It's just taken me nearly four hours to eat a dozen...
15:34 Tue 28th May 20134 answers, last by frozengal 10:15 Wed 29th May 2013
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marval

Funny Jobs Part Two

I hate being a Window cleaner I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I considered quitting my job in the electronics factory today. But I have decided to solder on. I asked the barber if he...
19:10 Mon 27th May 20132 answers, last by maggiebee 20:59 Mon 27th May 2013
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marval

Funny Jobs

I used to have a job at a stationary firm, but I resigned as I felt it wasn't going anywhere I own a shop selling 'CLOSED' signs. We haven't had a single customer. What is it about people who repair...
19:01 Mon 27th May 20135 answers, last by maggiebee 00:23 Tue 28th May 2013
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marval

Fancy A Laugh?

French authorities have discovered that it is not the real Mona Lisa displayed in the Louvre. It's just a painting of her. I've discovered the secret of life. Breathing. The rulers of the Ottoman...
14:47 Sun 26th May 201310 answers, last by headwreck 13:01 Mon 27th May 2013
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marval

21 Day Special

A travel agent offered me a 21 day special. He told me I would fly from London to New York. Then from Tokyo back to London. I asked him. "How am I supposed to get from New York to Tokyo?" He told me...
21:15 Fri 24th May 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 21:46 Fri 24th May 2013
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marval

Two Emplyees

An executive was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the executive returned from the big event, he was...
15:49 Fri 24th May 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:56 Fri 24th May 2013
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marval

Time For A Laugh

I had a secret meeting with a detective last night. He said it was better if I didn't know his name, then extended his hand for me to shake. That was a bit of a giveaway, Inspector Gadget. I took this...
18:13 Thu 23rd May 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:54 Thu 23rd May 2013

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