The mother-in-law, comes home and finds her son-in-law furious and packing his suitcase. "What happened, George?" "What happened? - I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife saying that...
There was a boy who did not speak a single word until the age of fifteen. One day during breakfast he suddenly announced. The toast is burnt. Why didn’t you say something sooner? Exclaimed his...
Two girlfriends were talking about their husbands. The first one says, “Your husband is so nice. He is always polite and so good with kids.” The second one replies, “Yours is so funny! I met him...
A middle aged man goes to his doctor. He says, “Doctor I started wearing boxers lately and noticed that my testicles make weird noises.” The doctor examined him and exclaimed. “Wow! One of your...
I need some help please, I am reading through some questions for a course on dementia care. Would anyone be able to help me with the term "insight Impairment" I am not sure if it is just another way...
A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just received that morning from his Mother. As he opened it a twenty-dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself,...
A man travelling through Arizona stops at a small town and goes into a bar. He stands at the end of the bar and lights up a cigar. As he sips his drink, he stands there quietly blowing smoke rings....
Did you hear about the successful bonsai tree grower? He got so good he ended up looking for a house with a smaller garden. One lady to a salesman in a shop: “I want to select a shirt for my...
Conswelo, a Mexican maid announced to her boss, Mrs. Blanco that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I'm in the family way." The wife was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who the...
Shortly after his spaceship landed on the moon, the astronaut debarked and began exploring the strange new terrain. He had walked for only fifteen minutes when he came upon a lovely young moon girl,...
So then they handcuffed me and said, “Anything you say can and will be held against you.” I said “Johnny Depp.” I changed my password to “Incorrect,” So whenever I forget what it is, the...
Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get married. Their doctor took each one into his office separately to try and talk them out of it. He called in the woman and told her that the man had...
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than thirty days will be disposed of. Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier: "Fur coats made for ladies from their own...
Three budgies in a cage.
One on the top perch
One on the middle
One on the bottom perch.
Which Budgie owns the cage?
The one on the bottom perch, the other two are on higher perches....
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason...
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him. He immediately apologised and...
A girl went to introduce the man she wanted marry to her father. Father: "So you want to marry my daughter, what do you do for a living?" Man: "I just got out of prison; I will search for a job soon."...
Tim and Janice met on a singles cruise and Tim fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in neighbouring towns only a few miles apart Tim was ecstatic. He immediately started...
An elderly farmer was in the Emergency Ward having stitches put in his hand, due to an accident with a piece of machinery. The doctor carrying out the procedure struck up a conversation with the old...
The new family in the neighbourhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said...