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marval

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marval

Carpenter

A carpenter must have been here. I saw dust. The proctologist quit his job because it gave him tunnel vision. When a snail loses its shell it looks sluggish. The boy's guitar teacher helped him pluck...
17:22 Tue 02nd Apr 20133 answers, last by starone 19:41 Tue 02nd Apr 2013
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marval

What Do You Want?

One afternoon, this man drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a man dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to...
19:10 Mon 01st Apr 20135 answers, last by starone 19:32 Tue 02nd Apr 2013
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marval

Sqad Goes Golfing

Sqad wanted to get off work and go golfing, so he approached his assistant. “Ralph, I am going golfing tomorrow. I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take...
17:48 Thu 28th Mar 20137 answers, last by starone 20:30 Sat 30th Mar 2013
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marval

Kids

Johnny's English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So, it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Johnny handed in a poor paper. "This is the...
18:54 Tue 26th Mar 20132 answers, last by starone 00:02 Thu 28th Mar 2013
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marval

Stranded

Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, one of them died. The other three decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body. The first man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his...
22:57 Mon 25th Mar 20133 answers, last by starone 21:31 Tue 26th Mar 2013
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No Women

A country club didn't allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this...
19:33 Mon 25th Mar 20132 answers, last by tenrec 19:35 Mon 25th Mar 2013
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marval

Collection

My mate said I did the best impression of a leaf he'd ever seen. I was blown away. I've invented a more efficient whisk it’s causing quite a stir. When Sigmund's mirror broke, Jung took pleasure in...
16:59 Sun 24th Mar 20132 answers, last by starone 00:04 Mon 25th Mar 2013
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marval

Thank You

The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to...
23:34 Sat 23rd Mar 20134 answers, last by starone 23:49 Sun 24th Mar 2013
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marval

Prankster

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he...
14:56 Sat 23rd Mar 20131 answer, last by starone 21:19 Sat 23rd Mar 2013
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Free For All

Finally my coffee has arrived, despite not being what I ordered. Still... better latte than never. Mon, Tues, Wednes, Thurs, Fri, Satur, Sun. I'm taking the day off. Apple is bringing out a new phone...
18:22 Fri 22nd Mar 20136 answers, last by excelsior-1 22:50 Fri 22nd Mar 2013
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Sarcasm

I was walking past my local Asda and I saw a sign on one of the doors saying, "Exit Only." I pushed it, went in and walked up to customer services. "You've seriously underestimated that door's use." I...
16:18 Tue 19th Mar 20135 answers, last by jim360 00:44 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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marval

Jewish Mothers

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench in Brent Cross shopping centre talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them. Sadie says "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living...
20:08 Mon 18th Mar 20131 answer, last by starone 16:05 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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marval

Paper Is Not Dead

This made me smile.
17:42 Mon 18th Mar 201313 answers, last by Flyhalf 19:20 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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Mcquillan

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini. Each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman...
16:33 Sun 17th Mar 20133 answers, last by starone 00:16 Mon 18th Mar 2013
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So

"So," Jane asked the private detective she had hired. "Did you trail my husband?" "Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile...
15:01 Sun 17th Mar 20131 answer, last by starone 00:14 Mon 18th Mar 2013
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marval

Naughty Wife

A traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends early one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and Fix dinner for my husband! He's going to be really upset if it's...
22:51 Sat 16th Mar 20131 answer, last by starone 00:42 Sun 17th Mar 2013
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marval

Have A Laugh

I despise bears so imagine my horror when out camping in the wilds, I ran into one. Knowing it was me or him; I didn't give him time to think and blasted him three times in the head with my hunting...
00:19 Sat 16th Mar 20134 answers, last by ll_billym 13:37 Sat 16th Mar 2013
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marval

Have To Call

A Doctor gets taken short in the middle of the night and finds his toilet is completely blocked. He says to his wife, "I'm going to have to call a plumber." The wife replies, "You can't call a plumber...
21:39 Thu 14th Mar 20134 answers, last by starone 21:23 Fri 15th Mar 2013
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marval

Two Blondes

Blonde one A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. "I'd like a box of birdseed," said the lady. "For which kind of bird?" he asked...
20:03 Wed 13th Mar 20132 answers, last by Fanriffic 23:45 Wed 13th Mar 2013

2321 to 2340 of 3998

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