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marval

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marval

2013 Bra Tax

A new bra tax has just been brought in. All Bras Will Be Taxed According To Size. 42-44 : Burden Tax 38-40 : Wealth Tax 34-36 : Entertainment Tax 30-32 : Excitement Tax 22-28 : Development Tax...
15:02 Tue 09th Jul 201321 answers, last by Jemisa 23:08 Tue 09th Jul 2013
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marval

Fact Of Life

Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F I really want to win a lifetime's supply of calendars. So I know when I'm going to die. I just saw a van drive by with the company...
20:06 Mon 08th Jul 20135 answers, last by pixie373 07:15 Tue 09th Jul 2013
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marval

The Smart Neighbour

Every time the man next door headed toward Michaels's house, Michael knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't get away with it this time," muttered Michael to his wife. "Watch this." "Er, I...
21:44 Sun 07th Jul 20135 answers, last by Psybbo 22:11 Sun 07th Jul 2013
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marval

Whiskey

A politician was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it....
12:30 Sun 07th Jul 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 12:56 Sun 07th Jul 2013
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marval

Give

Late one night in London, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money!" he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied,...
22:18 Sat 06th Jul 20133 answers, last by Jemisa 10:58 Sun 07th Jul 2013
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Three Cookies

A Kiwi and an Australian go to a pastry shop. The Kiwi whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn’t notice. The Kiwi says to the Australian: You see how clever we...
20:24 Thu 04th Jul 20135 answers, last by jim360 21:17 Thu 04th Jul 2013
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marval

Need A Tool?

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the...
17:41 Thu 04th Jul 20139 answers, last by marval 17:59 Thu 04th Jul 2013
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marval

I Tried

I tried grilling a chicken at lunchtime. "Right, I'll ask you one more time. Why did you cross the road?" I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife reckons it's weird. I don't see...
21:24 Wed 03rd Jul 20134 answers, last by Tbone56 06:04 Thu 04th Jul 2013
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marval

Directions

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. "Don't know," the woman said.He...
21:30 Thu 13th Jun 20133 answers, last by frozengal 04:03 Fri 14th Jun 2013
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marval

Who Won?

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu the leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Netanyahu wants to determine whether...
15:28 Thu 13th Jun 20137 answers, last by hellywelly4 16:32 Thu 13th Jun 2013
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Been To The Library Again

Man walks into a library & asks if they have any books on probabilities. The librarian says, "Most unlikely." My wife likes to tease me a bit by always asking "Is it in yet" I wish she would stop...
16:26 Wed 12th Jun 201310 answers, last by tonyav 20:30 Thu 13th Jun 2013
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marval

Been To The Library

A midget waddles into the library and asks, "Have you got a book on Irony?" The librarian says, "Yeah, mate, it's on the top shelf." I just found out we have a local library. They kept that quiet. I...
16:24 Wed 12th Jun 20131 answer, last by whiskeryron 16:28 Wed 12th Jun 2013
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I Am Glad I Use A Bank.

I suspect this woman wishes she had used a bank. http://news.sky.com/story/1102108/termites-eat-into-chinese-womans-savings...
20:28 Tue 11th Jun 201311 answers, last by ludwig 01:05 Sun 16th Jun 2013
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marval

Which One?

Man walks into a library and asks for a book on ice-cream. Librarian says, "Which one? We've got hundreds and thousands."...
17:42 Tue 11th Jun 20138 answers, last by Quoi 18:29 Tue 11th Jun 2013
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marval

Food Part Two

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? All that's left is debrie I was in my local shop earlier when suddenly this guy burst in and started shooting off rounds at the chocolate...
19:33 Sun 09th Jun 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 19:50 Sun 09th Jun 2013
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marval

Food

I got kicked out of the cinema last night for bringing my own food in with me. I was gutted. Its ages since I've had a barbecue. Many people are worrying about the effects of genetically modified...
19:26 Sun 09th Jun 20132 answers, last by bluebirdino 17:39 Mon 10th Jun 2013
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marval

How Are They?

An amateur magician accidentally turns his wife into a settee and his two kids into armchairs. He starts to panic. He tries every trick in book but none work so, in desperation, he decides to take...
21:12 Fri 07th Jun 20138 answers, last by Spoonboy 03:50 Thu 13th Jun 2013
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marval

Irish Millionaire

There's an Irish contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? He doesn't know an answer. Chris Tarrant says: "Don't forget you've got 50/50, ask the audience and phone a friend." The Irishman says:...
21:19 Wed 05th Jun 20133 answers, last by beejay1124 04:20 Thu 06th Jun 2013
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marval

Another Collection.

I've completely lost the plot, jeopardizing my career as a film director. Don’t do anything you are not prepared to explain to a paramedic. Did you know that the mobile phone is the only thing in...
17:59 Wed 05th Jun 20133 answers, last by Svejk 04:54 Thu 06th Jun 2013
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marval

Definitions

Potent: A shelter for the smallest teletubby. Avoidable: what a bullfighter tries to do. Carpet: A friendly, furry animal; kept in your automobile. Explain: A former flying vehicle. "Gynecologist" A...
13:24 Wed 05th Jun 201310 answers, last by DaisyNonna 23:18 Thu 06th Jun 2013

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