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marval

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marval

Childbirth

A boy is writing a essay on childbirth and asks his parents: "How was I born?" His mother awkwardly answers: "The stork brought you." "Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?" "Oh, the...
22:47 Thu 15th Dec 20161 answer, last by Patsy33 23:39 Thu 15th Dec 2016
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marval

I Was

I was told that grape fruit juice is good for the memory. Well I can tell you it is not. I had two bottles of wine last night and I can't remember a thing this morning....
18:36 Sat 10th Dec 20164 answers, last by zebo 21:19 Sat 10th Dec 2016
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marval

I Told You

A city fellow was driving through the country when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over to ask the farmer if it was for sale. "Afraid not,"...
16:18 Sat 10th Dec 20161 answer, last by Shaglene 12:06 Sun 11th Dec 2016
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marval

Fashion Advice

Many of us "old folks" (those over 50, way over 50 or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or...
23:12 Fri 09th Dec 20163 answers, last by Quoi 11:23 Sat 10th Dec 2016
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marval

Before Or After

After noticing a beautiful young blonde sitting on her own in a pub, a suave, sophisticated young man confidently strolled over to the table where she was sat and said, "What can I get you, gorgeous?"...
20:02 Fri 09th Dec 20166 answers, last by andypipwilly 20:24 Fri 09th Dec 2016
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marval

Arrested

A police officer arrested a prostitute. "I do not sell sex, sir!" She replied The policeman said, "So, what are you doing now?" "I'm just selling condoms and offering a free demonstration." Answered...
22:49 Thu 08th Dec 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 22:59 Thu 08th Dec 2016
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marval

Just Like

I said to my son, "What did you do at school today?" He said, "We learnt about all the capitals." "How many do you know?" I asked. He said, "All of them." I said, "All of them, are you sure?" He said,...
17:38 Wed 07th Dec 20162 answers, last by scorpiojo 17:58 Wed 07th Dec 2016
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marval

My Teachers

My teachers always told me that if I didn't study hard enough I'd end up working at McDonalds. I proved them all wrong. I start at KFC tomorrow....
19:19 Tue 06th Dec 20166 answers, last by Patsy33 20:45 Tue 06th Dec 2016
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marval

I Don't

I don't want to think I'm getting old or anything. But all the noises I used to make during sex. I now make just getting out of bed....
23:11 Mon 05th Dec 20163 answers, last by zebo 14:32 Tue 06th Dec 2016
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marval

I Smiled

I smiled at the scary doctor’s receptionist. "What can I do for you?” She barked. "Well, I'd like to take you out on a date,” I said. Her eyes softened and she melted. "I've never been asked on...
19:09 Mon 05th Dec 20164 answers, last by maggiebee 19:34 Fri 09th Dec 2016
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marval

I Went

I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked, "What's the deal, no decorations?" Puzzled, he looked at me and...
22:45 Sun 04th Dec 20165 answers, last by scorpiojo 22:52 Sun 04th Dec 2016
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marval

I Thought

I thought I would try Microsoft's online Advent calendar this year. It is very realistic. I chose one with a Wintery scene and now it's blooming Windows have frozen....
23:42 Sat 03rd Dec 20161 answer, last by Chipchopper 18:27 Sun 04th Dec 2016
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marval

I Asked

I asked the barber if he could do my hair in two minutes. He said "Of course! I know a short cut."...
19:22 Fri 02nd Dec 201619 answers, last by 1ozzy 23:15 Fri 02nd Dec 2016
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marval

Where?

"Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?" I asked my boss. "Just pop it in the corner," he said. It took me three hours....
18:26 Thu 01st Dec 20161 answer, last by DTCwordfan 18:34 Thu 01st Dec 2016
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marval

Wife's Diet

I walked in the pub yesterday and I couldn't help but notice a man sat at the bar scribbling on some paper and laughing hysterically. "Why are you so happy?" I asked. "My wife's been on a diet for the...
16:55 Wed 30th Nov 20161 answer, last by Patsy33 17:25 Wed 30th Nov 2016
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marval

Oh No You're Not

"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks to loosen you up." "Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks." "Oh no you're...
19:52 Sun 27th Nov 20165 answers, last by Hymie 21:50 Mon 28th Nov 2016
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marval

Just Received

I have just received an invitation to join a secret society. They claim to possess special enlightenment and knowledge of Greek cheese. Hallouminati....
15:43 Sun 27th Nov 201611 answers, last by marval 17:57 Sun 27th Nov 2016
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marval

At The Local Pub

A group came up to book up a slot in the open mic night I was compering at the local pub "So, what do you call yourselves?" I said "Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps" said their lead singer...
23:25 Sat 26th Nov 20169 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:17 Sun 27th Nov 2016
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marval

Observed

Scientists have observed that when one pizza delivery guy falls over, several others also fall over. This is known as the domino's effect....
17:28 Sat 26th Nov 20168 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:29 Sun 27th Nov 2016
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marval

Why?

Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements? Because if you can't heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um....
16:59 Sat 26th Nov 20163 answers, last by frugalfred 20:19 Sat 26th Nov 2016

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