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marval

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marval
Do you prefer: a) warm wine b) hot cider c) I don't care (This is a mull tipple choice question)...
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marval
I bought a lap dog. But I had to get rid of it. Every time I sat on its lap it bit me....
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marval
My last sailing experience in Bangkok didn't go very well. Turns out I don't know how to Thai Knots....
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marval
When I was on holiday, I had to be very careful with the step at the entrance to the hotel. It got 4 stars on Trip Advisor....
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My friend was taken ill when she saw a wild ox wearing a knitted jumper. It was a Cardi Yak arrest....
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I was arrested for pinching protons, neutrons & electrons. I'm still not quite sure what the charge is....
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marval
I went to an archeologist's party last night to celebrate the discovery of a caveman's leg bone. It was quite a shindig....
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marval
Never sing in the shower. Singing leads to Dancing. Dancing leads to Slipping. AND Slipping leads to Paramedics seeing you NAKED....
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I have finally decided to stop obsessing over my lunatic ex. I am over the moon....
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I have just cleaned my pet fox's teeth with a bunch of herbs. It was a Basil Brush...
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Mr. Oliver Fiddle had a lifelong dream of going to Divinity School to get his Doctor of Divinity degree. After years of saving, at long last, he entered the university. He worked and studied hard and...
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marval
Everyone in my neighbourhood wears woollen jumpers that are a size too small. We are a very tight knit community....
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marval
I was telling the police officer how local youths had thrown a milk bottle at me and just missed. He asked, "Skimmed past your face?" I replied, "No, full fat over my shoulder."...
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marval
I ordered a set of bongos this morning. Unfortunately I accidentally pressed the button twice and ordered them again. My partner has said if two sets arrive, there will be repercussions....
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My friend has just bought a Pub. He was going to rename it "Prince Charming" or "Goody Two Shoes." I tried to talk him out of it, but he's Adamant....
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marval
I went to the sign makers and requested a 60 ft letter A and the same size in relation to the letters S and K. He told me he would try his best but it was a big ask....
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marval
I went into a stationery shop in London and asked for directions to Bristol. The shop keeper said, "Just take the A4." So I did, and then got arrested for shoplifting....
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I had a date with a male dentist today. I think it went very well, he wants to see me again in 6 months....
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marval
Some New Zealand rugby player has just broken into my laptop. He made it show nothing but the All Blacks dancing with their tongues out. It must have been a Haka....
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NASA have found running water on Mars. Those Native Americans get everywhere....

841 to 860 of 3998

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