Beer and ice will give you hangovers. Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will...
I was playing frisby in the garden with my son when he shouted "catch it!"
I laughed "Don't worry son I am good at this"
"No mum," he said. "You have just stepped in some"...
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found...
Two women were discussing marriage, and one said. "We've been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night without complaining about the food."...
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a £150 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in...
In Korea, when a patient is taken to hospital, a white wristband is placed on their left arm. These wristbands contain the patient's name and information. When a patient dies, a red wristband is...
A man who makes coffins was on his way to deliver one of his coffins when his car broke down. Trying not to be late he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination. Some policemen...
Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work...
I invented the upside down house. It's now a top cellar. The Sun headline: Air strike planned Well I hope it doesn't last long, I can't hold my breath for more than 20 seconds. My partner wanted...
I woke up this morning and had a special type of socket wrench in my hand and I was surrounded by nuts and bolts. I had been torquing in my sleep. I used to file my nails, but I thought: 'what's the...
I tried to hold a seance last night.
After two hours, all I'd managed to do was talk to three window cleaners.
That's the last time I muck around with a squeegee board....
I was called in to school to see the teacher today. "We're a bit concerned about Lucy, Mrs. Smith as she seems disturbed about something. She spends a lot of time in the girl’s toilets and refuses...
I was visiting Preston at the weekend.
I saw an amazing street magician who made a seventh of the city disappear before my eyes.
He just waved his wand and
Hey presto....
