Little Emily, ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break. “What’s wrong, dear?” asked her father. “My doll! Billy broke it!” she sobbed. “How did he break it, Emily?” “I hit him over...
We had a power cut at my place this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was dead and to top it...
There's this young couple, let's call them Ness and Tony, they've been married for about a year, and the bride isn't getting any sex. Just about every night Tony comes home, has a shower, gets changed...
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust line forty four"....
I was having a smoke outside the pub when some dude in a wheelchair said, "Why do you smoke when you don't have to?" I looked at him and asked, "Why are you wearing shoes?"...
Cliff Richard was in China when a fan came running up to him, shouting, "Criff! Criff! I'm ur biggest fan! Me ruv ur songs. My favourite is Ichy Sore Fanny." Cliff is a bit shocked and says that he...
An old bloke hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years.
The hitman says, "I'll shoot her just below the left boob."
The husband replies, "I want her dead not kneecapped."...
An Airline starts a new concept of having a chef on Board the plane. This demanding passenger walks up the aisle and tells the hostess, "Let me get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but...
There was a black man standing at the urinal having a pee. A little white man stands next to him, unzips, takes it out and does the business. He looks down at the black man's member and notices that...