Man accidentally shoots wife.
Calls 999.
Operator: "Please calm down sir. Can you first make sure they really are dead?"
CLICK,BANG!
Man:"OK, done that, what next?...
Just had beer delivered for our journey tomorrow.... 4 Cases of Stella 1 Case of Strongbow 3 Litres of White wine 3 Litres of Red wine 1 Bottle of Vodka 1 Bottle of coke and 1 bottle of water.....What...
Shopping?
Looks like I've turned into a little porker.....and as it looks like the weather is going to be nice I need to buy some clothes for Glastonbury....
But I hate shopping!!!...
My cousin got glassed on Saturday night. He says he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time (debatable)
What gets into someone who puts a glass in someones face? The thought makes me sick.......
When the batteries in my mouse are running low why does the cursor wonder off to the left hand side of my screen? Why not the right hand side? Actually, why doesn't it just stay still?
All future televised England matches have been moved to the gay adult channel. Apparently the sight of 11 a&seholes frequently getting hammered for 90 minutes is far too explicit for normal TV.
We have a rose bush in the garden that hasn't been pruned since he bought the house 15 years ago. Loads of lovely flowers on it but it's all over the place.... I'm no gardener so can someone tell me...
my cousin works as a nursing assistant in a psychiatric hospital.... 3 years she was charged with a racially motivated attack (I'll fin out exactly when she wakes up) Basically she had an argument...