Voltage Member Profile in The AnswerBank

My Gp Has Advised Me To Sit Down To Wee

because at my age I'm to avoid lifting anything heavy

Golf Gun.............

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez 'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I...

Gizmonster

Anybody Tried The New U2 Satnav ??

I've had mine a while now and keep getting lost - it's rubbish .... the streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for !!!!

Voltage

Becoming A Better Person!

Since I spoke to the local Vicar about becoming a better person, I've had to flee my house. He said 'Love thy neighbour'. I did - i got caught....

naomi24

Young Can 'only Read Digital Clocks'

//That's the claim in a debate between teachers - with suggestions that digital clocks are being installed in exam halls for teenagers. It follows a report in the Times Educational Supplement of a...

Chipchopper

Come Again ?

Q, What do you call a bee that doesn't enunciate its words clearly ?. A, A bumble bee....

melv16

I've just been watching a pair of middle aged ladies knocking on doors on my street. Judging by the length of time they were at each door, I guessed they were Jovo's. When they got to my house they...

Patsy33

Hyena

I've been living with a hyena. It hasn't been easy I can tell you.. but there's been a lot of laughs along the way...

marval

I Took

I took my boots to the cobbler. I said “I want these soled please.” I went back the next day, he gave me 10pounds. He said “I have sold them for you.”...

dunnitall

Why? How? What On Earth?

I've cried reading this....I don't know if it has been posted before.... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-43926312...

Islay

Diarrhoea!

4 days of diarrhoea, tried Imodium worked for about 6 hours, it’s leaving me very drained. Just ate a plain dinner of chicken and tomato and it’s gone straight through me. How long before I seek...

marval

I Once Tried

I once tried to be a fish farmer. It was a complete disaster though. I think I planted them too early. A man who lives down the road from me was selling his car, he said he wanted 800 pounds for it or...

Patsy33

Diagnosed

I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants, it’s called Feefiphobia....

Shaglene

Divorce............

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife £775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honour,' the husband said. 'And every...

Bazile

Dinner Time

I threw a dinner party the other day and invited some pygmy friends of mine . The entertainment was a comedian , and i noticed that they were not laughing - i think the jokes went over their heads ....

kvalidir

Prince Albert?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5661601/Strongest-clue-Kate-Wills-new-Royal-Baby-Prince-ALBERT.html They can't seriously be thinking of actually naming him Prince Albert can they- has no-one...

nailit

Nailit Survey

Are you a royalist? Personally I'm not. I just don't understand the hype surrounding the Royal family (forthcoming marriage, birth etc) If Joe Bloggs, from a council estate, announced a marriage or...