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Voltage

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Voltage

Going On A Date!

I'm not getting anywhere on my dates so should I swallow a magnet to make me more attractive?...
13:21 Fri 20th Apr 20188 answers, last by spathiphyllum 13:39 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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Bazile

The Law

You’ve heard of Murphy’s law right? - It says that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage....
13:30 Fri 20th Apr 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 13:35 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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Ken4155

Wenger Out At End Of Season

Just been announced that Arsene Wenger is to step down at the end of the season. Not totally unexpected, perhaps, given the current atmosphere at Arsenal, but let's not forget just what he did for the...
11:04 Fri 20th Apr 201827 answers, last by Quoi 14:14 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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spathiphyllum

Texting The Girl Friend

My girl friend texted me back after I told her I’m cancelling our plans tonight because I want to drink beer with my friends instead, and she’s totally cool with it! She told me ”do whatever u...
12:30 Fri 20th Apr 201832 answers, last by spathiphyllum 13:44 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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Voltage

The Queen!

Apparently the Queen is really angry that her new chair has been made of jelly.... She’s throne a wobbly......
11:21 Fri 20th Apr 201816 answers, last by Voltage 12:37 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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anotheoldgit

Should Prince Charles Succeed The Queen As Head Of The Commonwealth Countries, If Not Who Should And Why?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43833029 If it was left to one notable African, speaking on LBC radio last night the Commonwealth should be banned as it was a continuation of Colonialism and white man's...
11:38 Fri 20th Apr 201843 answers, last by Old_Geezer 14:34 Sat 21st Apr 2018
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Chipchopper

Aa Man

I saw an AA man, sat at the traffic lights, in his van, absolutely crying his heart out!. I thought to myself, he must be heading for a breakdown....
08:53 Fri 20th Apr 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 12:04 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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marval

A Applied

I applied for a place at the fishermans school of excellence last week. Unfortunately it was refused. They said I was in the wrong catchment area....
20:12 Thu 19th Apr 201810 answers, last by marval 20:49 Thu 19th Apr 2018
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marval

I Took

I took my daughter for a ride on the carousel today. The staff at Heathrow Airport were outraged. A policeman pulled me over earlier, he asked me if my car had been checked. I told him no, it had...
17:19 Thu 19th Apr 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:29 Sun 22nd Apr 2018
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nailit

Just Met My First Fellow Aber

Just shared a pot of tea and a bit of lunch with Tilly. What a delightful lady she is. She made me promise not to talk about her while she's off AB but hey, you know how it goes ;-)...
16:45 Thu 19th Apr 201874 answers, last by Togo 20:29 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

Trolley

Things are really getting bad in the nhs. I was at the hospital yesterday, when I seen a man lying on a trolley in the corridor. Then a Doctor came along and said, "Dont worry Mr Johnson, we'll have...
12:49 Thu 19th Apr 201811 answers, last by marval 17:05 Thu 19th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

Giving Up White Wine.

Sadly, it causes too much acid in my stomach and I'm looking for a drink to replace it without as much acid in. I know most of them have but perhaps a little kinder! One of my little pleasures in life...
14:37 Thu 19th Apr 201822 answers, last by Patsy33 12:02 Fri 20th Apr 2018
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ToraToraTora

Labour And The City, Hyou've Gotta Love The Quartermaster.....

Mr McDonnell said: "What we are offering is a new start in the relationship between Labour and the finance sector. Perlease!...
14:43 Thu 19th Apr 20186 answers, last by New Judge 17:20 Thu 19th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Construction!

I've got a joke about construction.I tell you later I'm still working on it....
10:09 Thu 19th Apr 201814 answers, last by marval 17:00 Thu 19th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Cooking With Herbs!

My new business 'Cooking With Herbs' is in trouble. The bank has called in the Bayleafs....
10:24 Thu 19th Apr 201813 answers, last by Voltage 12:39 Thu 19th Apr 2018
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Theland

R.ip. British Culture.

Whatever happened to British culture? Is it completely dead or terminal? Can it ever be revived, or do we need to adapt to the new foreign landscape?...
01:18 Thu 19th Apr 2018122 answers, last by AB Editor 08:58 Mon 23rd Apr 2018
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Voltage

Energy Performance Certificate

i need an energy performance certificate for my house been quoted £55 is that about the right price?...
14:04 Mon 16th Apr 20186 answers, last by Voltage 23:58 Wed 18th Apr 2018
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marval

I Am

I am writing a book on Indian curries. Its naan-fiction. I stand accused of unleashing a sleep-inducing gas in a courtroom. The jury’s still out. On Friday nights, instead of going to clubs, my...
18:44 Wed 18th Apr 20187 answers, last by Shaglene 15:21 Sun 22nd Apr 2018
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Voltage

Mount Everest

"I've just built a model of Mount Everest" "Is it to scale?" the wife asked "No, just to look at".... jeez!!...
14:10 Wed 18th Apr 20186 answers, last by dineshbh 07:59 Mon 14th Feb 2022
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Voltage

Ooops In The Dog House Again!

My wife spent an hour and a half getting ready to go out last night. Finally the bathroom door opened and she said, "Do l look fat in this?" I said, "Yes, but to be fair it is a small bathroom."...
17:58 Wed 18th Apr 20186 answers, last by Hopkirk 19:50 Wed 18th Apr 2018

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