Voltage Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Speeding Camera

I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back – way too expensive and really bad quality...

Voltage

Buying A Goldfish!

I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”...

Bazile

Lifted From The Pond

I reported to the police that someone had stolen my crocodile from my pond . Last night an alligator knocked on the door wearing just a vest , stating he was from the police . ''Why are you only...

spathiphyllum

Why is she naked all over twitter? Will twitter not take these photo's down? Why is it OK for her to force nudity onto my webpage but its not OK for me to flash elderly women down my local pleasure...

Patsy33

Woodwork

DIY is enjoying a boom, the popularity of woodwork is sawing....

Chipchopper

Traffic Report

An articulated lorry shed its load of onions, all over the M1 motorway earlier today. Police have advised motorists to find a hard shoulder to cry on...

marval

Wedding Gift

A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his offer of marriage. They received many gifts at the wedding but their favourite was a set of towels embroidered with the words "hiss...

Islay

A Day Early But ....

I couldn't wait to tell you all! Its a year tomorrow since my operation - this year has passed so quickly I can't believe how quick! Well I had my health check up today and my weigh in and I have lost...

Patsy33

Hawaiians

You can’t trust Hawaiians, their i’s are too close together....

Voltage

The Wife Again!

My wife said “I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!” “But honey, what about our child?” “What child?!” “Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”...

Buenchico

Hmmm . . .

I like cheese. I like pizza. I like booze. But I'm still not totally convinced . . . https://tinyurl.com/y7xqbao9 Any takers?...

anthro-nerd

Are You Shy?

Having watched Rhod Gilbert's BBC doc (linked below), it got me thinking. Sometimes I'm really shy, other times I'm super confident! How many ABers would say they're shy? Or are you only shy in...

spathiphyllum

Rant About Eu Regulations

Can't wait for brexit. I'm fed up of this EU regulation on our work coffee pot. It can only stay hot for half a hour..?????? It makes over 10 coffee's, there's only just over 20 of us! half of us...

NoMercy

What To Serve With Steaks?

I've got a couple of steaks for dinner. Personally I like a fried egg or grilled stilton on mine, with a side salad. I rather think he would prefer egg on top and chunky chips on the side. Any other...

anotheoldgit

Watch Out You Are Being Watched.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5327901/The-smart-devices-home-frighten-you.html...

Islay

Egyptian Drug Smuggler 'double Crossed' According To Family!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5327317/Laura-Plummer-pardon-withdrawn.html Well her family claims she has been double crossed but it appears that she was told she was pardoned to early as the...

Voltage