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Voltage

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Chipchopper

Sharp Dressed Man

As I entered the living room, in my shiny new suit, to show it off. I heard my wife say "wow you're a vision!" I replied "oh its just a little something that I threw on". "No not you" she said...
20:51 Thu 08th Feb 20184 answers, last by marval 23:28 Thu 08th Feb 2018
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Bazile

The Big Fromage

News is coming in of an explosion in a cheese factory in France De - Brie everywhere...
16:23 Thu 08th Feb 201828 answers, last by shoota 22:25 Thu 08th Feb 2018
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Bazile

Hayi .. Who ... Haa ..

Last night a Chinese guy came into my favourite bar and sat next to me I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said ''No - Why do you ask me that - Is it just because I’m...
16:15 Wed 07th Feb 201813 answers, last by DTCwordfan 23:14 Wed 14th Feb 2018
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Voltage

Baker Job!

I got a job at the local bakers making doughnuts. I jacked it in after a week i got fed up with the hole business...
15:32 Wed 07th Feb 201815 answers, last by marval 18:59 Wed 07th Feb 2018
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Patsy33

First Computer

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
09:42 Wed 07th Feb 20188 answers, last by Voltage 16:01 Wed 07th Feb 2018
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1ozzy

Why!

Why not! Just thought we needed another thread titled why! Why? Because I could Which makes me wonder why....
02:52 Wed 07th Feb 201815 answers, last by Sipowicz 16:10 Wed 07th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Callers!

A man came round and knocked on my door and asked for a small donation in aid of the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water....
18:23 Tue 06th Feb 20188 answers, last by marval 23:56 Sun 11th Feb 2018
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Bazile

Sample Please

I went to the doctor the other day . He said ''i need you to do a sample '' ''Can you fill that bottle over there on the window '' '' What !! ? - From here ? '' - i replied...
18:16 Tue 06th Feb 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 18:51 Tue 06th Feb 2018
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marval

Dear Milkman

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. Dear milkman I have just had a baby, please leave another one. Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk. Milk is needed for the baby....
16:38 Tue 06th Feb 20189 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:24 Tue 06th Feb 2018
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NoMercy

It's A Boy!

Contractions started more or less as soon as waters were broken last night. Very painful and I was on gas and air almost constantly. I had an epidural and syntocinon was commenced and I drifted off to...
15:29 Tue 06th Feb 2018146 answers, last by emmie 15:24 Sat 10th Feb 2018
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Voltage

Viagra Tea Bags!

Just bought some Viagra tea bags. There not improving my sex life, but there stopping my biscuits from going soft!....
21:09 Mon 05th Feb 201817 answers, last by petermic12 13:39 Sat 18th Sep 2021
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melv16

Vindaloo

I had one last night and my backside is on fire. My mate said,"ring sting?" I said, "how's he going to help?........
20:29 Mon 05th Feb 20187 answers, last by Tilly2 16:27 Tue 06th Feb 2018
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Patsy33

Scottish Doctor

How do you confuse a Scottish Doctor? tell him you have 'knee problems'....
17:39 Mon 05th Feb 20189 answers, last by Patsy33 19:05 Mon 05th Feb 2018
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Voltage

I Was Attacked Last Night!

I was attacked last night in the street by a bloke with a power tool, there I was just minding my own business then... BOSCH!
15:12 Mon 05th Feb 201815 answers, last by zebo 22:28 Mon 05th Feb 2018
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NoMercy

What's For Dinner Tonight?

I'm ordering in. Ham salad sandwich, sausage roll, Salt & Vinegar Squares. I live like a Queen, I do! So c'mon, make me green with envy....
16:02 Mon 05th Feb 201821 answers, last by Islay 19:39 Mon 05th Feb 2018
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Smowball

Printer Cartridges...

I’ve bought a reconditioned printer from EBay. Absolutely fine. I need to get some new cartridges for it - colour, and also black. What’s the best value ones? The printer is an HP Deskjet 3636,...
14:24 Mon 05th Feb 20184 answers, last by Smowball 15:00 Tue 13th Feb 2018
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Shaglene

Extracts From Tenants Letters To The Council...............

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly...
19:00 Sun 04th Feb 20184 answers, last by marval 15:22 Tue 06th Feb 2018
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Voltage

Spider!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… We went out and had some drinks.. Cool guy.. Wants to be a web developer....
17:45 Sun 04th Feb 201814 answers, last by MichaelZZ 19:52 Sun 04th Feb 2018
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Patsy33

Usb

The inventor of the USB drive had died, thanks for the memory....
15:06 Sun 04th Feb 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 17:47 Sun 04th Feb 2018
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NoMercy

That's It, I'm Off !!

Hospital have called to say that they're not terribly busy so come in whenever. I'm really nervous ... :-/...
13:25 Sun 04th Feb 2018163 answers, last by zebo 14:07 Mon 05th Feb 2018

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