I Wonder Why This Number Is Rising So...
Politics4 mins ago
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a... ...
If the Plymouth bomb had gone off this afternoon, economists have calculated that it would have caused £10.5 million of improvements in the city.
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Eric, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely... ...
For years Dr. Benson had left his office and gone to Teddy's Bar, where Teddy would fix him a daiquiri laced with crushed pecans. One day, however, Teddy ran out of pecans; instead he substituted... ...
Gary: "Your new secretary is very sexy...."
Larry: "Thanks! She's actually a robot named Doreen....
If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types... ...
Larry: "Thanks! She's actually a robot named Doreen....
If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types... ...
I dig, You dig She digs, He digs We Dig, They Dig Not a long poem, but very deep.
I asked my friend the other day, "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"
He replied, somewhat indignantly, "That was no eyesore, that was my wife!" ___ I’ve just woke up after a heavy night’s... ...
He replied, somewhat indignantly, "That was no eyesore, that was my wife!" ___ I’ve just woke up after a heavy night’s... ...
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-towners who ended up sinking it. He spent... ...
Apparently exercising helps with decision making. It's true!
I went for a jog today and decided I'm never going again.
___
Dad: "How are your grades, son?"
Son: "They're underwater, Dad."
Dad: "What do... ...
I went for a jog today and decided I'm never going again.
___
Dad: "How are your grades, son?"
Son: "They're underwater, Dad."
Dad: "What do... ...
Poets were on special offer in town today.
It was Byron get one free. ___ I said to my wife "seeing as it is valentines day lets try something from the karma sutra"....Ok she says "I'll have Chicken... ...
It was Byron get one free. ___ I said to my wife "seeing as it is valentines day lets try something from the karma sutra"....Ok she says "I'll have Chicken... ...
roses are red, and violets are brown never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Mick got a job as a bus driver and on his first morning he just sat
at the depot waiting. The bus inspector came over to see what the
problem was. Mick said; " l'm waiting for the conductor! " The... ...
at the depot waiting. The bus inspector came over to see what the
problem was. Mick said; " l'm waiting for the conductor! " The... ...
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I met a nurse who took me to Italy.
Next thing I know, she has me arrested.
And that’s how I learned about Florence, night in jail. ___ I didn’t win any medals at the international astronomy quiz last... ...
Next thing I know, she has me arrested.
And that’s how I learned about Florence, night in jail. ___ I didn’t win any medals at the international astronomy quiz last... ...
I was disappointed with the new film called Fishing, although it had a great cast! ___ Woman sitting next to a man on a plane, every time he sneezes he wipes his cock, after the 3rd time the woman... ...
I'm Hungary Maybe you should Czech the fridge I'm Russian to the kitchen Is there any Turkey? We have some but it's covered with a layer of Greece Ew, there is Norway you can eat that Please Finnish... ...
I replaced my rooster with a duck. I now wake up at the quack of dawn..
As I was rushed into A&E, the paramedic shouted “BP is 148!”
I thought that’s not really the time to talk about petrol prices. ___ The seeds I sent for have germinated in the envelope.
It's left me... ...
I thought that’s not really the time to talk about petrol prices. ___ The seeds I sent for have germinated in the envelope.
It's left me... ...
Tom gets on a plane in Edinburgh for a flight to New York. A very attractive young lady gets on the plane and sits right next to him. Wanting to start a conversation with her he asks “Business... ...
Just bought myself a book about reincarnation, it was £45 but I thought, *** you only live once! ___ The next person who asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of... ...
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