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Sister Mary burst into Father Thomas's office in a high state of agitation. "Father!" she cried "just you wait until you hear this!" The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, "Calm down and tell...
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens.
I was raking it in....
Joe Biden met King Charles, and he turns round and says: "As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the USA is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom". To which the King...
Child; "Mummy, mummy, can i play with grandad?" Mother; "No, you've dug him up twice already this week." *********************************************** Child; "Mummy, mummy, i don't like grandad."...
Did you hear about the origami porn channel?
It's paper view only....
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy...
My wife said she'd like to have another baby...
I agreed. The one we have is starting to annoy me....
I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards', and I thought... 'That's just spam...
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I told my wife when I die, I'd like to die having sex.
She "at least it will be quick"....
I got a terrific book for Christmas on anti-gravity - I couldn't put it down!
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun"...
..a dentist call an xray?
A tooth pic...
My pet termite us called Clint.
Clint Eatswood....
Regarding the New Years honours list, apparently Lulu has been nominated for another gong, but when Camilla asked Charles "Are we going to honour Lulu this year" he said "Good heavens, no. I couldn't...
My mate's new year resolution is to quit his 2 bad habits: Smoking and masturbating. It's gonna be hard because he's a 20 a day man... And he smokes like a chimney! ____________ I went for a walk last...
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics....
..to keep your wits together as you age. So every day I challenge myself with difficult questions like,, Why am I in this room? Did I come here to get something? What was I doing? Who was that I spoke...
Three men survived a plane crash over the Sahara Desert: a blind man, a deaf man and a man in a wheel chair. After staggering through the desert for a couple of miles they came upon a river. The river...
What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause....
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