Shopping & Style2 mins ago
A rich young woman sat beside a poor elderly man on a plane. She alerted the flight attendant upon taking her seat. The flight attendant answered warmly, when the woman abruptly said, “Please find me...
My mate's wife was dancing on a table.
"Good legs" I said
"Do you really think so?"
"Oh yes, most others would have collapsed under that weight"...
Hatt Mancock was pelted with slime on [i] I am a celebrity Get Me Out Of Here [i] ,but nobody noticed any difference....
A man sees an ad for a £50 cruise on Craigslist. Despite his better judgement, he grabs some cash and makes his way to the address given in the ad. He opens the door to a small office and is knocked...
A policeman pulled me over and said "papers!".
I replied "scissors" and drove off....
How did they obtain a licence?
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Chap at the door
When I opened it there was a wummin standing there....
Two Scots, Archie and Jock are discussing Jock's wedding. "Ach it's all going well, I've got everything organised, I've even bought a kilt to be married in." Archie says, "That's braw, what's the...
My daughter said she wanted a Cinderella themed party.
So I made her and her friends clean the house....
,,for your zoom meeting.
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I asked my girlfriend when her birthday was.
She said "March first".
So I walked around the room, and asked her again....
A priest goes into a pub to avoid the rain and spies a member of his congregation in there looking miserably in to his pint. ‘What’s wrong, Brian?’ asks the kindly man of God. ‘It’s my grandfather,’...
My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a Believer".
I thought she was joking.
Then I saw her face....
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..Mechanic is required.
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.. dogs shouldn't tell knock knock jokes.
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A Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman meet on the 20th floor of a high-rise building, and decide to have a competition. Each one of them has to throw his watch out of the window, run down the...
I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order.
Like they should be....
40 years of marriage.. A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their...
I was working in a health food shop.
This guy's walks in and says "Evening Primrose Oil"
I said "It's Mr Hopkirk to you"...
