Quizzes & Puzzles6 mins ago
" This fish looks and smells so old, it is practically prehistoric, what is it?"
Fishmonger: "Coelacanth Sir"...
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor....
Geordie wins ten grand on the lottery, so he goes halfies with his lass. "What you spendin' your five grand on, pet?" he asks one night. "Eeee", she replies, "Aa thought Aa'd have one o'them boob...
There were two nuns... One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), The other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you...
Twerking is what a Yorkshire man does to earn T'wages.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If anything, he's more sluggish....
A young man named Boris bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100.00, and the farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day. When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, but I...
For the oldies amongst us: Some of your old favourites have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate their aging audience. Some examples: Herman's Hermits "Mrs. Brown You've Got a...
I'm afraid for my calendar, Its days are numbered
I've just come back from a once in a lifetime holiday.
Never again....
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying flowers. The redhead sighs and says: "Oh damn, my boyfriend is...
My girlfriend's dog died so to cheer her up I went out and bought her an identical one.
She was livid.
"What am I going to do with two dead dogs?" she said....
This one's weird! ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST Count every "F" in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY ?...
And the Lord said unto John "come forth and ye shall receive eternal life"
But John came fifth, and won a toaster....
One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland... Being British is about...
I'm going to the National Traffic Wardens’ Association dinner tonight. It's an all ticket event....
I went to Blackpool on my holidays once, I went on a donkey.
It took me 25 days to get there....
Two bulls in a field, and one says to the other, "Hey have you seen the new heifer in the next field, she looks like a real sweet girl?"
Other bull: "No I've never seen herbivore"...
Today I went to a meeting of my premature ejaculators support group, but it turns out it's tomorrow.
Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and keptthe same tag-line... Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better Tesco Condoms - every little helps Nike Condoms - Just do it....
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