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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Rondy
A rich Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl and traditional locks of hair. He doesn't have to be Einstein to know this...
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Rondy
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take...
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Rondy
An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from a foreign country. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and...
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Rondy
I saw a man at the beach yelling: "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed. I knew very well that shark wasn't going to help him. ___ I’m convinced my neighbour has been stealing cement from me. I don’t...
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Rondy
My youngest son, Mick, asked me, "Dad, when was the first time you fell in love?" I replied, "When I was 18, I walked in to a pub and spotted the most beautiful, gorgeous blonde that I had ever seen,...
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Rondy
I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting. I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked the security if I could take a picture, they said “yes.”...
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Rondy
Wife was in the HDU!! The husband was unable to control his tears. Doctor: "We are trying our best, but can't guarantee anything. Her body is not reacting. It seems she is in a coma." . . Husband:...
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Rondy
During work Mike and Paddy are chatting, Mike: "I've been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week." Paddy: "Oh!" Mike: "For example, do you know who Graham Bell is?"...
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Rondy
I made a soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere… It was a broth of fresh air! ___ I just came home from work when my wife ran towards me and tore off all her clothes. At that...
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maggiebee
A minister decided to do something a little different. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing...
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Rondy
A man was riding on a bus minding his own business when a beautiful lady sat next to him and started to breast feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so the lady said: "Come on sweetie, eat up your...
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Rondy
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch: When she asked him...
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Rondy
A nurse was on duty in the emergency room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. t was quickly...
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maggiebee
Carol said she's leaving me because of my obsession with plants. I said "For crying out loud petal, where has this stemmed from?"...
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Rondy
A passenger was having difficulty lugging his oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. “Do you always carry such heavy...
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Rondy
Little Johnny was in his English class and the teacher was talking about punctuation and why it’s important to be on time for your period. As soon as little Johnny heard the word periods he raised his...
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Rondy
Email from an Irish pal, "I was at the supermarket and I was at the check-out" Checkout: €2.04p please" Me: "Sorry this is all I've got", as I handed them a €20 note. Checkout: "Haven't you got...
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Rondy
Bob: "Hey Al, you know you owe me £500." Al: "Yes." Bob: "I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll forget half of the money." Al: "That’s perfect, I’ll forget the other half."...
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Rondy
A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. “I’m doing some research for Vaseline....
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Rondy
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princes s touched would melt. No matter what - metal, wood, stone,...

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