Crosswords0 min ago
Finished work late the other night, so I popped into a pub on the way home.
I asked someone where I could get a drink and they pointed upstairs.
I got up there and I asked why I had to climb stairs... ...
I asked someone where I could get a drink and they pointed upstairs.
I got up there and I asked why I had to climb stairs... ...
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have... ...
I just opened an express clothing alteration company. It's called Tailor Swift. ___ A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.... ...
My Chinese friend says he has opened a crows shop.
I said, "Don't you mean clothes shop?"
He said, "No, come and take a rook!"
___
I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer.
She's going... ...
I said, "Don't you mean clothes shop?"
He said, "No, come and take a rook!"
___
I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer.
She's going... ...
https:/
A lady asked me if I would paint her in the nude. I said “ If you don’t mind I will keep my socks on otherwise I will have nowhere to keep my brushes!”
___ So the other day I threw a ball for my... ...
___ So the other day I threw a ball for my... ...
A married couple were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she... ...
Just seen a fight between an Auctioneer and a Hairdresser..
They were going at it hammer and tongs.
___
A lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.... ...
They were going at it hammer and tongs.
___
A lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.... ...
A friend asked me, "what's it like to be standing in a hole filled with water?" I know he means well. Thanks, Tony B
WARNING: No actual offensive words so hopefully won't be removed under site rules, but overall a bit risqué so stay away if you're sensitive to smut. https:/
Can't believe my dad lost his job as a roadworker for stealing from them.
But when I went to see him last night all the signs were there.
___ I tried blindfold archery. You should try it, you don't... ...
But when I went to see him last night all the signs were there.
___ I tried blindfold archery. You should try it, you don't... ...
I'll get you facebook-haters converted yet 😃 😃 😃 😃 https:/
Has converted to Islam and has opened a butchers shop in Leicester. He's called the business..Halal is it meat you're looking for...
A van, carrying a load of Vick's sinex nasal spray, turned over on the motorway yesterday and shed its load. Amazingly the road was free of congestion for eight hours! 😄
I once gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he had ever read.
These bear hunters were sitting around the cabin the night before the hunt bragging about their past hunts.
The cabin boy was listening and went over and said "you guys make it seem pretty hard on... ...
The cabin boy was listening and went over and said "you guys make it seem pretty hard on... ...
Sad news. The man who devised the M&S food ads has died…
He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods! This is not... ...
He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods! This is not... ...
A husband and wife had a big argument. Frustrated and fed up, the wife called up her mum and said, "We fought again, I can't do this anymore. I am coming to live with you."
Mum said, "No darling,... ...
Mum said, "No darling,... ...
I bought a wig for £1 today It was a small price toupee
So I was in the chemist lab and I said to the assistant, “What gets rid of germs?”
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...” ___ Man in jewellers: I need a potato... ...
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...” ___ Man in jewellers: I need a potato... ...
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