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My wife stormed out of the house due to my obsession with the Weather Forcast, I haven't the Foggiest where she's gone.
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I was standing in the queue in Aldi earlier and a voice announced "Checkout no.5 please."
I thought, I've seen better than her. ___ Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle’s wife?... ...
I thought, I've seen better than her. ___ Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle’s wife?... ...
"My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a £5 note. Our total was £4.25, so I also handed her 25p. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I... ...
I've just gone on the Adam Ant diet. It's dead easy; Don't Chew Ever 👍
I said to the Doctor, "When l move my leg it makes a Mooing noise". He replied,"It sounds like a Calf injury"
I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit...it was a lamb bikini.
If anyone can tell me how to repair a broken hinge, my door is always open.
I was raised by a herd of billy goats.
We couldn't afford a nanny. ___ The total number of people who get words wrong, would cover an area the thighs of whales. ___ I went for a drink with some heavy... ...
We couldn't afford a nanny. ___ The total number of people who get words wrong, would cover an area the thighs of whales. ___ I went for a drink with some heavy... ...
I'm sad to see that my local archery shop had to close, but I guess it was inevitable as they just weren't hitting their targets.
New this year, we decided to buy Lindt chocolates for the kids for last night. Also new, we decided that when they knocked we wouldnt open the door
Did Saul Bellow? I know Oscar was Wilde, but wasn't Thornton Wilder? I think John was Gay and Hopkins was Manly, but then, who cares if Immanuel Kant when Kubla Khan ? 🙂
A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy." The mother asked, "What did you do?" The boy replied, "I hit him with my... ...
While working at the Rolling Stones bakery, you can't always get what you want. But you do get what you knead.
Church Ladies With typewriters are at it again! They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually... ...
I'm just on my way out to fix Cat
Stevens' caravan.
Awning has broken…
Stevens' caravan.
Awning has broken…
How do you start a milk pudding race ? Just say-go!
I was talking to my neighbour today, he said, "I went to one of those Turkish baths on holiday...They shaved with razor-sharp blade below the neck line, snipped ear & nose hairs, waxed chest hairs... ...
ANAGRAM - EYJNROOA, Actress - 2.6 any ideas?
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