Mad over fifties club

[ladyalex]

The club is now open

The lost property box is almost completely full this week...mainly it contains ladyalex's memory.
There are also some woolly thongs, half a yard of knicker elastic and several assorted pills.

There will be a raffle tonight, but no, repeat no tombola.

[Mamyalynne]

whats the new bambinos name we must raise a toast as i dropped my chips

[ladyalex]

Don't forget the male voice choir..they get out occasionally and give a rendering of Land of our Fathers....

I don't think anyone could possibly blame Ellie. She cannot help it if we fed her too many apples and bananas.
Tell the motorists on the M5 to treat it as a roundabout and someone will clear it up in the morning.

[caththecrazy]

and he was oiling himself and I have a pink elephant and we are in deep trouble again - it's mamalynne she keeps phoning the boys in blue

How is the new baby and her mummy?

We have had a few buckets of jellybean cocktails to celebrate

Ohh hosing down Mrs Fant but she keeps drinking the water -

[Mamyalynne]

thought fruit was good for you? why is ellie going in circles am dizzy now

[ladyalex]

You're doing a grand job , cath. Trouble is that, as far as Ellie's drinking is concerned, what goes in, must come out. So have the mops and buckets on standby...quietly still.
Have the police, firemen and coastguards gone yet ?

[atsgran]

Have I missed the chips as well, never mind, her name is Emily Jane, and sorry but anyone waiting for a Thong will have to wait as I'm knitting a cardigan for Emily just now, but I seem to have dropped some stitches so if anyone finds them I'd be grateful for the return of them (I'm being posh tonight, I've even got my teeth in)

[caththecrazy]

mamalynne you're always dizzy

I think she is looking for her glasses as she's lost them or chasing her tail I can't tell as she keeps spraying all the water at me as I'm hosing her down - I vote she becomes the new toilet attendant - she'll make quick work and we can donate the mop and bucket tot he next raffle

[ladyalex]

What lovely names, at and anothers gran ..Emily Jane. Bet she's a smasher. You lucky thing. The son and heir is showing no signs at all of giving us any grandchildren so I am completely green with envy. LOL

[Mamyalynne]

oops sorry atsemilyjanesgran i swept up some stitches earlier now where did i put the hic mumble shuffle

[ladyalex]

Good thinking re the toilet attendant's job, cath. I second your nomination of Miss Ellie Phant as toilet attendant and general washer downer of the club.
All those in favour say aye.

[atsgran]

Who brought Mrs Fant to the club, is she legal, shes emptied the swimming pool, and I brought my knitted cossi tonight,

[Mamyalynne]

Cathy have you been yet?

[caththecrazy]

aye

which reminds me what happened to the pirates?

it was a sad day when my parrott was eaten in here.....

Emily Jane - that's lovely - if my last son had been a girl he was going to be called Emily

Your lost stiches may be in lost property box under Ladyalex's memory

[ladyalex]

bit personal. mamya

[atsgran]

Aye

[atsgran]

Oh Lady, watch your temper, or was it tempest

[ladyalex]

Nem con, then Miss Phant is our new toilet attendant and general washer-upper .
What do you thinkthe minimum wage is for elephants ? I wouldn't like us to be expoiting a dumb animal.
Two bales of hay and as many bananas as she can eat a week sound OK to you ?

[Mamyalynne]

well cathy mentioned it earlier and as matron thought it proper to check as you do

[ladyalex]

Well, it was a bit pointed wasn't it...asking again in the very next post......

[caththecrazy]

can't you see mamalynne - I only started hosing down Mrs Fant to cover it up.....

Oh atsagran and ejgran - I remember Ladyalex said there were some wooly things in lost property it must be your stitches I'm going for a 2nd look

mamalynne have you made the celebration Emily jane cocktails yet - we need sparklers etc but no you mustn't light them you know you're not allowed matches don't you?