Good evening milady, I am just popping in to say that I may not be coming tonight, I have to attend a Hawaiian Event. Indeed I am only here because I await my escort, complete with flowery shirt and lei. He has declined to wear a grass skirt and flipflops, much to my disappointment, since I have been round to the event and found at least one man attired so. However there are others without, so I must be grateful. I will stay while I can, if I may, and perhaps - if on offer - I may partake of a pre-Hawaiian tailcock?