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Mad over Fifties Club

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ladyalex | 20:57 Sat 19th Mar 2011 | Quizzes & Puzzles
248 Answers
The Club is now Open

Welcome one and all to our club.

As it is the night of the big moon, members are requested to take great care .

Throat pastilles have been made available in the smaller scullery for those who may have need of them.


No doubt the usual drinks and nibbles will materialise along with our dear Matron.

Tonight's raffle prizes include:

An egg slicer (out of it's box, but probably unused)
Five small white buttons (four holes in each )
A box of frogs. (In honour of the big moon)

The colour of tonight's winning ticket is TBA.
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If you had said that before my dash to the powder room. milady - wasted opportunity there
I will happily provide a footstep ttfn, or help you pull down your knickers if required. Did it once with a friend wearing swim suit, you just pull the crutch to the side.
mrs.c - you may borrow my lighter any time you feel the urge, just don't singe my furry bits tonight, of which there is quite a lot!
Meg - if you did do life lines, I would have had to borrow an eyebrow pencil first to draw one in. I am not bad ta, all things considered. NHS willing - you are too I hope?
Where has Star gone? I hope I have not embarrassed her (more than I usually do to anyone that is)
a crutch, poor thing miss meg. had she broken something.................ttfn i think you missed the lavatory, it like a swimming pool in there!
Was it not a wet room before I went in there, anne? Sorry Matron. Give me yer bucket please
So sorry to be so late but had to go back for my sunglasses, even though it's all moonshine.

Don't suppose my candles will be needed for t'ruffle with all this lot. Just keep them until next time they turn off the electricity. Perhaps you have a few oil lamps?

Any chance of a drink? I'm dry as the dust on the sideboard.
Who opened the stopcock on the moat all the water is rushing out to the main road, better call the fire brigade with their big hoses
Sorry, everyone, I had to leave for a while and now I have come back and read through all the posts and find you have all been kind enough to congratulate me. My blushes would suit a young girl. Thanks to all - it makes me feel realy good. Now I know why so many people belong to Answerbank. Not only have you all helped me when I was feeling down now you are making me feel great.
Miss meg, if you need any help I can read palms. No not palm trees, silly. Hand palms. There are these lines this is the life line and this is the heart line and this is the line that tells you how many children you are going to have. And this one here is where you have had an operation for trigger finger. You see, you cannot hide, I can read everything. But why should I tell you all my secrets?
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Hello Nonna. Nice to see you again.
You must try Mamya's new tailcock, Lunar Suprise@ delish .

Did you break your leg as well as your head, ANAN ?
I don't think it was kind of Miss Meg to pull your crutch away.
Did you say you had som e truffles, Nonna ? I'd love one > Yum !
Oh nooooooo!!!! The tea-leaves tell me I'm having octuplets! How the hell am I gonna cope with six babies?
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OMG have I turned the wrong cock ?
Daisy do have a Lunar Surprise@ you may need those sunglasses a sthey glow you know.

More mopping tut tut
Welcome Daisy, dont mention the dust dear, I just had to damp down the powder room. A drink for Daisy - I think I will have a kimodo dragon next please
Good grief Alex, get any emergency service going!!

Life jackets all!!
Mrs chappie you can always keep your octopus in the moat, it will be company for Charlie(the crocodile)
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I've managed to turn the cocks off.....

but I think we still need the firies .....we haven't called them out for months and months now...oh those big men with their big ....
the bewildered lot ambushed me when i went out to look at the moon,they nappedkid me but i managed to escape by looking bewildered and lost, then i ducked down and crawled over the lawn,swam the moat and tunneled under the hedge,oh dear i need a strong drink,i'm still shaking,they lunar surprises dont half work,
Welcome back Star. You may be giving next weeks talk now - 2 illuminati tonight, The Star and The Moon - oooops, sounds like a public house!
Meg you are a sport my dear, but I normally manage my own arrangements satisfactorily. Tonight was a little out of character
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QUick, a Lunar Surprise@ and a blanket for KAte.
there, there, dear, the firemen will be here soon....nee naw nee naww..here they come.
This is ridiculous, how can you think of octopusses when we are about to endure a tusamiu

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