News2 mins ago
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year, because no prank is greater than the joke that is running this country right now.
..to cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Tell them you can't come today.
Just a warning if you're buying a watch on Amazon.
I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim with it, this only applies if you can already swim without it.
___
Two artists had an art... ...
I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim with it, this only applies if you can already swim without it.
___
Two artists had an art... ...
I recently asked Google "who was the waiter at the last supper". It said server not found.
I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant last night and it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: "You all need to start clapping!"
"What a weirdo," I thought.
Anyway we all started to clap... ...
"What a weirdo," I thought.
Anyway we all started to clap... ...
I went to a fancy dress party the other day and there was some guy dressed as a Phillips screwdriver. I can tell you the outfit turned a few heads
I grew up with Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now there’s no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please don’t let anything happen to Kevin Bacon.
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he... ...
Apple have said although their profits are down, their turnover is still good.
A shop assistant fought off armed robber with his labeling gun. Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head
I used to work in a Russian napkin factory. I was part of the serviette union.
Against all advice I have started my own company.
‘Dave’s rubbish removals’.
A removal company, but we’re not very good at it. ___ I went to the hairdressers and said I wanted my haircut like Tom... ...
‘Dave’s rubbish removals’.
A removal company, but we’re not very good at it. ___ I went to the hairdressers and said I wanted my haircut like Tom... ...
What a sad day the first woman to ever have a Swiss breakfast has died. She was dragged under by a strong currant
What a sad day the first woman to ever have an English breakfast has died
R I P Megan Bacon
R I P Megan Bacon
Did you know it takes 3 sheep to make 1 jumper. That's amazing I didn't know they could knit!
I would put a tenner on the Dalai Lama, if I was a Tibetan man...
I tried to walk like an Egyptian, and now, I need to see a Cairo practor!
This little woman was only 3ft 6 ins tall. She goes to the doctors and says to him “Doctor, this is a bit embarrassing but I keep getting a sore fa**y.”
“When does this happen?” asks the doctor....
“When does this happen?” asks the doctor....
Gone to Specsavers https://ibb.co/pj0dW0Hq ...
Gone to specsavers https://ibb.co/N24WxdZN ...
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