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excelsior-1

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frugalfred

Reincarnation

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not...
20:25 Thu 08th Aug 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 21:38 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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wendilla

Spacestation Sighting Over The Uk This Evening.

1st sighting 9 25 pm for 6 mins SW departing E 2nd sighting 11 01 for 5 mins WSW departing E THE HTV4 supply vessel should be on view 2 mins after at 9 27pm for 5 mins SW departing E 2ND view of the...
18:04 Thu 08th Aug 201319 answers, last by wendilla 21:38 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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marval

Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

9. E-mail replies from some guy named "Fluffy." 8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip. 6. Your mouse has...
16:31 Thu 08th Aug 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 16:54 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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Jemisa

Be Strong.

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and jewrllery. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and...
14:09 Thu 08th Aug 20136 answers, last by Spoonboy 22:50 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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Jemisa

In Montana Usa...

In the light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for...
14:48 Thu 08th Aug 20135 answers, last by mushroom25 16:13 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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wendilla

Spacestation Sighting Over The Uk This Evening.

1st sighting 10 13 pm for 6 minutes SW departing E 2nd sighting 11 50pm for 3 minutes W departing S HTV SUPPLY SHIP 10 34 pm for 6 minutes SW departing E...
17:59 Wed 07th Aug 201320 answers, last by wendilla 18:58 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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Jemisa

I Can't...

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road & a copper see's him & pulls him over, “Step out of the car please sir ” says the copper, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I...
15:10 Thu 08th Aug 20134 answers, last by marval 15:56 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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potterfan3

How Old Are You?

I'm 22. I often feel quite young on this site so I'd be interested to see how old people are.
01:01 Thu 08th Aug 2013100 answers, last by Spoonboy 21:44 Mon 12th Aug 2013
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Ann

Hi Excel .....

Just read that you are in Zante - one of our favourite Greek islands! We stayed in Alikes and used to drive up to the quiet little bays at the north of the island - much prettier. You must visit...
16:44 Tue 30th Jul 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 12:43 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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starone

A Neat Solution

The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share...
20:32 Wed 07th Aug 20135 answers, last by Jemisa 14:13 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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berniecuddles

Good Morning Early Birds!

good morning early birds! oh well we are half way through the week already still dark outside but no rain as yet!
05:06 Wed 07th Aug 2013131 answers, last by divegirl 17:35 Wed 07th Aug 2013
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Jemisa

I Remember...

Neil Armstrong lands on the Moon and says the words: "Over to you, Gretsky." Everyone's confused and asks him what does he mean but he refuses to reveal it. However, he's at a 20-year reunion for the...
23:06 Tue 06th Aug 20132 answers, last by Old_Geezer 07:58 Wed 07th Aug 2013
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Quoi

Good News Bad News.....

Good News Your wife rings you in the middle of the day asking you to come home for a hot midday sex session. Bad news She also rang the Postman Even Worse news You have to wait.........
07:21 Wed 07th Aug 20132 answers, last by frugalfred 16:57 Wed 07th Aug 2013
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Jemisa

The Oldest...

A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest. “Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve...
12:48 Tue 06th Aug 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 17:27 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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Mags22

Peter Capaldi

Can anyone remember him as a transvestite (or similar) in a murder mystery on tv years ago? I'm sure it was him, but can't remember what it was - may even have been The Bill
17:24 Tue 06th Aug 20135 answers, last by hc4361 22:53 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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excelsior-1

I Am A Little Reticent ......

.... about accepting a job offer from the Disney Corporation .. .. .. .. ............ i have heard thet it is a Mickey Mouse outfit...
17:21 Tue 06th Aug 20137 answers, last by Svejk 14:20 Wed 07th Aug 2013
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Tilly2

My Blackcurrants

desperately need picking but I can't be bothered to sit and top and tail them. Any suggestions apart from leaving them for the birds?
12:13 Tue 06th Aug 201336 answers, last by Siracusa8 11:36 Sun 11th Aug 2013
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marval

What Happened?

What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went to the Amusement Park at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we...
22:01 Mon 05th Aug 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 10:52 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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Quoi

Too Young To Die..

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. “There must be some mistake,” said the lawyer “I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five.” “Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to out...
09:08 Tue 06th Aug 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 10:51 Tue 06th Aug 2013
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marval

Life Lessons

1. A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. 2. One good way to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage -...
10:42 Tue 06th Aug 20134 answers, last by Quoi 13:03 Tue 06th Aug 2013

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