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excelsior-1

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cupid04

Doctor.

Won't you kiss me doctor, asks a beautiful woman. No, it would be against my code of ethics says the doctor. Please, just one kiss begs the woman. It's completely out of the question he goes on. I...
03:28 Wed 01st May 20132 answers, last by sunny-dave 10:50 Wed 01st May 2013
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McMouse

Wednesday Titter

An Afghanistan diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The diplomat was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami,...
10:04 Wed 01st May 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 10:12 Wed 01st May 2013
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starone

Cats And Dogs

Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't...
23:35 Mon 29th Apr 20133 answers, last by Cmitchell 23:39 Tue 30th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

How Often?....

A noted sex therapist realised that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an...
15:02 Tue 30th Apr 20137 answers, last by excelsior-1 23:34 Tue 30th Apr 2013
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excelsior-1

Dave Allen

one of our finest comedians (my humble opinion) there will be a programme profiling his career on bbc2 monday evening at 2100hrs i have set my machine to record it...
20:08 Fri 26th Apr 201331 answers, last by gness 23:40 Tue 30th Apr 2013
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marval

Caught Out

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's fidelity."...
18:57 Tue 30th Apr 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 23:30 Tue 30th Apr 2013
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starone

An Irish Ghost Story

A Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could...
00:09 Mon 29th Apr 20137 answers, last by excelsior-1 10:45 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Essex Joke....

The boss called Johnson into his office... Johnson, we giving you a promotion but you have to move to Essex, . Johnson: ESSEX !! he said with a raised voice "Nothing comes from there except...
23:42 Sun 28th Apr 20135 answers, last by excelsior-1 10:43 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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starone

Lost In The Desert

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed...
23:33 Sun 28th Apr 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 10:41 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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NoMercy

Good Morning Ab'ers

I hope you are all well and refreshed after the weekend. I've got a sore throat but I am still feeling positively indefatigable! Have an awesome Monday all x x...
04:51 Mon 29th Apr 2013163 answers, last by lady-janine 09:18 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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Sammy48

Decorating

Roller or brush.
20:26 Sun 28th Apr 201327 answers, last by boxtops 19:09 Thu 02nd May 2013
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DIMWITT

24 Down And 41 Cross

I HAVE o?? E?O?I?N for 24 Down . 41 Across lunch break in American terminology R?C?S?...
20:49 Sun 28th Apr 201310 answers, last by headwreck 21:00 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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DIMWITT

24 Down

I HAVE ?O? E?O?I?N
20:42 Sun 28th Apr 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 20:47 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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giveup

Just Opened The Oven

To check the chicken. Had forgotten to put it in(and I'm getting hungry)
17:14 Sun 28th Apr 201317 answers, last by craft1948 20:06 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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giveup

Is It Raining Where You Are.

They said it would rain here yesterday so I treated the lawn with Evergreen. I did water it in but it needs a good soak. I don't normally hope for rain,but could really do with a good shower. How...
16:36 Sun 28th Apr 201315 answers, last by Canary42 17:16 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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moonraker558

Ttfn V Moony

Ttfn & Moony were on their wedding night in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, Moony, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to Ttfn and said: "Here, put these on." She put them on...
11:47 Sun 28th Apr 201325 answers, last by Psybbo 18:10 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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moonraker558

Ouch

A biker pulls up outside a roadside bar in Louisiana after a long day in the saddle. Stiffly he walks in, gets a beer and sits down. By his third, he realises some of the locals are looking at him and...
11:56 Sun 28th Apr 20135 answers, last by Baldric 18:09 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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marval

Three Blondes

Brunette: I love the new shaving cream I got. It works great! It makes my legs feel so silky. Blonde: Shaving cream never works for me. I've given up on using it. Brunette: Are you sure your razor...
15:00 Sun 28th Apr 20134 answers, last by starone 23:25 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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marval

Another Adults Only

Sex in a boat - oar-gasms. Sex with a nerd - dork-gasms. Sex at the entrance to your house - door-gasms. Sex on carpet or linoleum - floor-gasms. Sex at the supermarket - store-gasms. Sex at a Steven...
14:21 Fri 26th Apr 201372 answers, last by marval 13:12 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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pastafreak

Which Tablet?

My pc has died,and I'm thinking of getting a tablet. I'd be using it for surfing the net,shopping,emails,and down loading and reading books. Any personal recommendations?...
01:23 Sun 28th Apr 201313 answers, last by alavahalf 15:45 Sun 28th Apr 2013

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