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Jemisa

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Jemisa

Farmers Patch...

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some...
22:08 Tue 25th Jun 20132 answers, last by frozengal 05:24 Wed 26th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

'nun'

Not long after the marriage, Tom and his father met for lunch. "Well son," asked the dad, "how is married life treating you?" "Not very well, I'm afraid. It seems that I married a nun." "A nun??" his...
12:08 Tue 25th Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 22:37 Tue 25th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Truth?

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is twice the length of his thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats...
23:05 Mon 24th Jun 20137 answers, last by cupid04 21:56 Tue 25th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Who?....

Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were walking down the street one day."I wonder if I'm still the most beautiful woman in all the land" said Snow White. "I wonder if I'm still the shortest man in...
22:51 Mon 24th Jun 20134 answers, last by aelmpvw 11:32 Tue 25th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

The Accident...

My cousin, Ken worked off shore, on one of those oil rigs..halfway into his shift, he calls his wife... Darlin' don't worry, I am ok. An accident occured here at work and my finger was cut OFF... She...
22:27 Mon 24th Jun 20134 answers, last by RATTER15 06:18 Tue 25th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Pork Mince...

I've got some pork mincemeat out defrosting, but I'm not sure what to do with it, has anyone got any tasty idea's? Jem...
13:25 Mon 24th Jun 20136 answers, last by Jemisa 23:21 Mon 24th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Funny T-Shirts...

Today going down the high St. I saw a young lady who must have been about 7-8 months pregnant,she had a T-shirt on and accross the front in big letters it said "I should have danced all night" I...
22:26 Sun 23rd Jun 201329 answers, last by netibiza 20:00 Mon 24th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

They Say...

Sex and Calories ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They say that during sex most people Burn off as many calories as Running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?...
21:36 Sun 23rd Jun 20132 answers, last by Jemisa 11:42 Mon 24th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Ten Things I Know About You...

1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips. 4) You just attempted to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your...
14:43 Sun 23rd Jun 201312 answers, last by elliemay1 22:06 Sun 23rd Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Something For Seniors...

Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active! 1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named XMay. ...What was the third...
14:02 Sun 23rd Jun 20134 answers, last by fourteen85 17:25 Sun 23rd Jun 2013
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Jemisa

First Time

The sky was dark, the moon was high All alone, just her and I Her hair so soft, her eyes so blue I knew just what, she wanted to do Her skin so soft, her legs so fine I ran my fingers, down her spine...
11:48 Sat 22nd Jun 20132 answers, last by Chipchopper 23:01 Sun 23rd Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Ian Beals Cousin??...

The other day I noticed Bianca said she was Ian Beals cousin it made me think & I couldn't work it out, how come she is his cousin? Can anybody out there work it out? Jem...
22:38 Fri 21st Jun 201310 answers, last by muckit 16:39 Sun 23rd Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Stiff Neck...

A young man had come to visit his grandparents,he then notices his grandad sitting out in the garden , completely naked from the waist down. "Grandad, why are you sitting out here without trousers?"...
14:00 Fri 21st Jun 20133 answers, last by Jemisa 23:12 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Demolition...

Ummm, You'll like this link... jemhttp://www.our-wee-country.com/irish-jokes-mrvisk.html...
13:32 Fri 21st Jun 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 13:44 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

I Don't Remember...

A father came in the bedroom to find his 13-year-old daughter smoking a cigarette. "My God! How long have you been smoking?" screams the father. "Since I lost my virginity," replies the girl. "You...
12:38 Fri 21st Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 13:45 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

The Picnic...

I asked my Canadian friend who had visited England last summer "Did you have a good Summer? He replied "Yes indeed, we had a great picnic that afternoon!"................... jem...
11:33 Fri 21st Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 13:47 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

We're Lost,,,

We were doing a tour of the Devon countryside & going down lots of winding lanes, it did seem ages and the scenery was more or less the same. My 9 year old grandaughter said "When are we going to get...
14:05 Thu 20th Jun 20138 answers, last by RATTER15 22:10 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Office Joke...

A secretary goes into her boss' office and asks, "May I use your dictaphone?" He replies, "No. Use your finger like everyone else."...
13:39 Thu 20th Jun 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 14:47 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Body Talk...

This lady goes to the doctor for a check up. When she gets home her husband asks, "So how did the appointment go?" She replies, "He said, I have the body of a twenty year old. Her husband says, "Oh...
13:27 Thu 20th Jun 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 14:48 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Ashes To Ashes...

This bloke dies and his wife has him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the kitchen table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the...
23:01 Tue 18th Jun 20132 answers, last by pixie373 07:49 Wed 19th Jun 2013

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