A man walked into a supermarket with his trouser zip down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit...
No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between "complete" and "finished". However, in a linguistic conference, held in London, and attended by some of the best linguistics in the...
The cows are giving evaporated milk. T The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin' Hot water now comes out of both taps. You actually burn your hand...
An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the UK visited the foreign exchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rps and after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given...
r 1- For a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who don't own a gun. 2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. 3 - Why is the...
A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up darlin'?' she...
A Welshman and an Englishman go to a pastry shop. The Englishman whisks three biscuits into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice. The Englishman says to the Welshman: You see how...
A little girl realised that she had grown hair between her legs. She was worried and asked her mother about ‘that hair.’ Her mum calmly said – “That is your secret place, which we now refer to...
> A Vicar's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the Bishop and asked for arise in his wages. > After much discussion, he passed a rule that whenever the Vicar's family expanded; so would his...
A man makes a suggestion to his wife. “Sweetheart what do you say that tonight we change positions?” His wife responds with, “Yes, I would really like that! Tonight, you stand behind the ironing...
A man comes in to the room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity replies, "Does that mean that you are taking me...
My intention was to do a pile of ironing this morning but here we are now lunchtime & its still sitting there calling me. I tell myself its too hot for ironing, I'm not in the mood, & when I take the...
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and...
A man is lying in bed in a hospital ward with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"...
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy. " She's incredibly mixed up," said one doctor. "She does everything absolutely backwards. Just last week, I told her to...
A man was very worried that his wife was lately not quite the same as she used to be. So, he takes her to the doctor who runs a battery of tests on her and then calls the man into his office. He says,...
Three doctors........ The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens." The next Doctor says: "Me, I love doing surgery on...
Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful,...