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Jemisa

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Jemisa

Before & After...

BEFORE MARRIAGE: Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait! Wife - Do you want me to leave? Husband - No! Don't even think about it. Wife - Do you love me? Husband - Of course! Always have and...
13:36 Wed 03rd Jul 20135 answers, last by pixie373 14:55 Wed 03rd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Naughty Double Liners...

Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego... A: "Is it in?" Q: What is the definition of wicker box? A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna. Q: Why do women have two sets of lips? A: So they can p*ss...
11:20 Wed 03rd Jul 20133 answers, last by marval 20:20 Wed 03rd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Deal Or No Deal?...

A man met a woman at a hotel. He saw that she was married by the ring on her finger, but decided to try anyways. He approached her, and asked her, "I know you're married, but i want to make you an...
10:57 Wed 03rd Jul 20134 answers, last by cupid04 14:59 Wed 03rd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Washing...

As my wife picked up the clothes for the washing machine, she noticed a pair of my pants. "What the hell? Look at the state of these, Dave! There's bl00dy great big skid marks in them, you dirty sod...
23:48 Mon 01st Jul 20133 answers, last by AlwaysConfused 00:17 Wed 03rd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Scotch!..

A man walks into a pub and says to the barman, ‘I want you to give me a 12-year scotch, and don’t try to fool me, because I can tell the difference.’ The barman is sceptical and decides to try...
23:29 Mon 01st Jul 20132 answers, last by Doristhegreat 17:54 Wed 03rd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Tv Remote.

What is it about men and the TV Remote control?. It was my birthday and I wanted to make it a really special day, so I tied my Husband up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV....
22:51 Mon 01st Jul 20133 answers, last by cupid04 14:34 Tue 02nd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

On The A 127....

There was a senior citizen driving on the motorway. His wife calls him on his mobile phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herbert, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving...
13:50 Mon 01st Jul 20136 answers, last by Friend67 06:47 Wed 03rd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Tight Situation....

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at...
23:00 Sun 30th Jun 20134 answers, last by queenofmean 16:03 Mon 01st Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Is That You?....

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you." Her husband asks, "Is that you...
22:38 Sun 30th Jun 20132 answers, last by apple_eater 06:06 Thu 04th Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Stopped...

A minister is stopped by a police patrol car for speeding. The policeman smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor. The policeman asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?”...
22:30 Sun 30th Jun 20131 answer, last by Baldric 16:59 Tue 02nd Jul 2013
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Jemisa

Two Spoons...

At a restaurant, one of the customers noticed that all of the waiters had two spoons in their shirt pockets. Upon being asked, one waiter said, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware are...
11:48 Sat 29th Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 13:07 Sat 29th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

You'll Love This One...

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of...
11:06 Sat 29th Jun 20134 answers, last by albaqwerty 14:33 Sun 30th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Raffle Prizes....

Charlie & Walter were in the local pub enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a quid a pop. The following week, when the raffle was...
16:04 Fri 28th Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 16:06 Fri 28th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Barb-I-Q

Glenn and his wife were working in their garden one day when Glenn looks over at his wife and says, "Your @rse is getting really big. I bet your @rse is bigger than the barbecue." With that he...
11:09 Fri 28th Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 13:10 Fri 28th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Swollen Ankles?....

Since we've had these last warm days I've noticed my ankles have swollen, in the morning they are ok but by the end of the day I can push a finger in them & it leaves quite an indentation. I already...
23:21 Thu 27th Jun 201310 answers, last by woofgang 12:54 Sat 29th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

5 Blondes...

A blind man walks into a pub, taps the man next him on the shoulder, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look mate, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 20...
22:44 Thu 27th Jun 20134 answers, last by anneasquith 10:39 Sat 29th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Some More Laughs...

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack...
11:56 Thu 27th Jun 20136 answers, last by pixie373 15:01 Thu 27th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

A Few Laughs...

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack...
11:35 Thu 27th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Oops!!...

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decided to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she let out a...
22:56 Wed 26th Jun 20131 answer, last by craft1948 23:00 Wed 26th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Miser's Final Wish...

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he...
22:46 Wed 26th Jun 20135 answers, last by Georgiesmum 07:11 Thu 27th Jun 2013

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