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marval

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marval

Pride

My overweight partner has started getting a bit of pride in himself lately. Well, he has started eating lion bars....
20:25 Fri 15th Mar 20198 answers, last by jno 03:12 Sat 16th Mar 2019
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marval

My Boss

My boss called me into his office to see how my first day was going. He asked, “How are you finding your role?” I said, “If I am honest, it could do with a little more mayo.” My friend asked...
23:22 Wed 13th Mar 20194 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:14 Thu 14th Mar 2019
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marval

A City Gent

A city gent was driving through the countryside when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over to ask the farmer if it was for sale. “Afraid...
18:25 Wed 13th Mar 20195 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:20 Thu 14th Mar 2019
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marval

The French

The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power. I think they should stop over-reacting. My partner complained about not being wanted, so I went to the post office and...
18:56 Tue 12th Mar 20193 answers, last by jim360 13:43 Wed 13th Mar 2019
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marval

I Am Retired

I am a retired boxer and I am thinking of taking on golf as a hobby. Although many believe I should go into acting because apparently I am the only dog they know that can talk. My doctor’s surgery...
16:53 Sun 10th Mar 20197 answers, last by Aniston 22:12 Tue 23rd Apr 2019
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I Asked For

I asked for chicken drummers, and I was given pieces of chicken in breadcrumbs? Where are the feathery musicians I requested? I have just found out my friend has had collagen implants, she has been...
20:36 Sat 09th Mar 20192 answers, last by Arksided 20:53 Sat 09th Mar 2019
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marval

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

There's an Irish contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? He doesn't know an answer. Jeremy says: "Don't forget you've got 50/50, ask the audience and phone a friend." The Irishman says: "I'll...
15:41 Sat 09th Mar 20194 answers, last by Hollis987 12:47 Mon 11th Mar 2019
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marval

Respect

I have got a lot of respect for organ donors. Those guys really put their heart into it. I got the bearded dragon a new tank today. My partner isn’t happy though, he doesn’t think it is an...
23:20 Thu 07th Mar 20193 answers, last by Arksided 23:43 Thu 07th Mar 2019
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marval

Oops

A traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends early one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and Fix dinner for my husband! He's going to be really upset if it's...
23:17 Mon 04th Mar 20195 answers, last by maggiebee 17:13 Wed 06th Mar 2019
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marval

Australian Cowboy

A devout Australian cowboy lost his favourite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a kangaroo walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't...
19:58 Sat 02nd Mar 20194 answers, last by beso 09:22 Sun 03rd Mar 2019
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marval

Beaten Up

I was beaten up by a seven, nine and eleven year old last night. I have decided it is time to get even. They are going to put a clock on the leaning tower of Pisa. That way it will have both the time...
19:58 Wed 27th Feb 20193 answers, last by Patsy33 20:08 Wed 27th Feb 2019
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marval

My Wife

My wife left me because of my obsession with Morse code. Her name is Dot and she made a dash for it. I drive a steam roller. Most people prefer a petrol or diesel engine, but I wanted my Rolls Royce...
17:28 Sun 24th Feb 20191 answer, last by Patsy33 18:33 Sun 24th Feb 2019
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marval

The Sad Tale Of Robin Hood

Robin Hood lay dying, and all the faithful gathered round. With his weak and fading breath, Robin asked Marion to bring him the best arrow from the quiver beside his bed, and then asked Little John to...
23:42 Sat 23rd Feb 201916 answers, last by Tilly2 17:17 Mon 25th Feb 2019
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marval

My Friend

My friend has been arrested for shop lifting. I was really surprised. I didn't know he was that strong....
19:14 Thu 21st Feb 20194 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 20:46 Thu 21st Feb 2019
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marval

Morals

Two Irish lads Pat and Mick are drinking in a bar. Pat says to Mick "I had my way with that blonde lass that I met last night" Mick replies to him and says. "Will you be seeing her again later...
18:01 Mon 18th Feb 20196 answers, last by cupid04 16:38 Wed 27th Feb 2019
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marval

I Have

I have just bought a border collie. The one I already had wasn’t bored enough....
16:52 Mon 18th Feb 20191 answer, last by jno 16:55 Mon 18th Feb 2019
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marval

I Started

I started my new job as a lumberjack this morning. The boss must have taken an immediate dislike towards me as I had only been there two minutes before he gave me the axe. I am having the best holiday...
17:08 Sat 16th Feb 20192 answers, last by maggiebee 00:40 Sun 17th Feb 2019
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marval

Breaking News

Breaking news in the cabinet reshuffle. My Xbox 360 games have been moved to the bottom drawer. My investment in a maze business isn’t going well, I can’t see a way out of it. I went round to my...
19:56 Wed 13th Feb 20192 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:12 Wed 13th Feb 2019
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marval

For Sale

For Sale: Grandfather clock, only one part missing. Second hand. I was climbing the stairs earlier when I thought to myself. ‘Why don’t I just walk up them like I usually do?’ I have recently...
19:47 Tue 12th Feb 20192 answers, last by Patsy33 20:32 Tue 12th Feb 2019
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marval

My Partner

I thought I won the argument with my partner as to how to arrange the dining room furniture. But when I got home the tables were turned. I was really embarrassed when my partner caught me playing with...
21:39 Mon 11th Feb 20194 answers, last by maggiebee 21:25 Tue 12th Feb 2019

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