A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby...
A computer programmer, bored with his job, decided to start his own business. Wanting to do something very different from his current occupation, he bought a mating pair of rheas and a large tract of...
A scientist was successful in cloning himself. He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper. The...
There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started. Her name was Clearly and she was...
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the...
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a...
A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced passengers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket...
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the...
The orthopaedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff were helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back...
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we are sorry for you, so we will give you one wish a day...
There were three boys. one named zip, one named willy and one named pee. they ran away from school but they were chased by the headteacher so zip hid on top of a wardrobe, willy hid inside it and pee...
A young man has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike, the dealer asks if he would...
A farmer goes into a farm supply store and orders two hundred chicks, explaining to the owner that he wants to start a chicken farm. Two weeks later, he returns to the store and buys another two...
A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and...
Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund? A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie. Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? A: He doesn't believe in dogs. Q:...
Q: What do cats like on a hot day? A: A mice cream cone. Q: What do cats like on their hot dogs? A: Mouse-tard. Q: What do cats like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies. Q: What do you call a cat...
Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in the other members' private lives. Church members were unappreciative of her activities, but...
Q: What day does a fish hate? A: Fry day. Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? A: "Dam." Q: What do fish play on the piano? A: Scales. Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh....
There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep....
Jeremy walked into a shop, which sold musical instruments and bought a very expensive mouth organ. As the shopkeeper wrapped up the instrument he said, 'You know is this is quite amazing. We normally...